


The Amazing Threesome

by DallasWinston98



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Funny, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Language, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4419686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DallasWinston98/pseuds/DallasWinston98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title isn't as dirty as it sounds...most of the time. Johnny, Dallas and Two-Bit move in together, this is a series of stories about their wondrous adventures together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Apartment

Part 1: The Apartment 

(Based in 2015) 

It hadn't been long since that day Two-Bit and Johnny both confessed their feelings to Dallas, which had left him in a difficult situation, Dallas liked both but didn't really want to choose between the two so Two-Bit came up with the brilliant idea of becoming a polyamorous pairing. Dallas and Johnny just looked at him, this was something they had never heard of before. Of course with Two-Bit being the freak he is, he explained the concept to the confused creatures before him. 

Johnny and Dallas considered the idea and soon, both agreed to the idea. Johnny took a bit more time to adapt, considering he wasn't 100% sure if he wanted to share Dallas with Two-Bit. Johnny soon came around and accepted the whole idea, he even noticed he had some feelings for Two-Bit. 

All three decided to move in with each other into a small apartment. The moving in part was the strangely difficult part, especially Johnny couldn't do much heavy lifting and let's just say that did not please Two-Bit. 

"No fair! Why doesn't Johnny have to help us carry the heavy stuff? Especially we have to walk up stairs!" Two-Bit complained like the Two-Bitch he was, Johnny looked at him with an eloquent look. 

"So, you find the image of my arms snapping off like twigs interesting?" Johnny stated sarcastically while raising an eyebrow. Two-Bit shook his head, 

"Not really..." he muttered while scrunching his face up slightly. 

"Then stop complaining, I have to carry all of your...fetish things.." Johnny said while squinting at the box in his hands. 

Johnny slowly made his way up to the black, metal stairs, concentrating on not falling backwards. Johnny finally reached the top and approached the open doorway. He stepped inside of a small living room which connected with a kitchen, he walked down a small hallway into a bedroom. The apartment only had one bedroom so all three decided they would all share a bed. Johnny sat the box down and walked toward the front door, only to be stopped by Dallas. 

Dallas had a strange look on his face which to Johnny, meant something went wrong.

"We dropped the couch down the stairs.." Dallas muttered and Johnny looked at him in bewilderment. He first wondered how two persons would even drop a couch down some stairs but then wondered if this was just Dallas' way of saying Two-Bit had died. 

"Please, tell me Two-Bit is still breathing.." Johnny said concerned and Dallas laughed. 

"Yeah, he's still kicking, we just dropped the couch." Dallas stated as if he drops couches on the daily. 

"How do you even-" Johnny began but was cut off by Two-Bit's heavy breathing. 

Two-Bit stumbled into the room and stabilized himself by leaning on Dallas. Two-Bit looked at Dallas angrily, 

"You left me...to pull that damn couch...all the way up the stairs!" Two-Bit spat out between pants and Dallas laughed at Two-Bit. 

"You're a little bitch, Dallas." Two-Bit growled and Dallas smirked, 

"Only in bed, love" Dallas muttered and Johnny sighed. 

"Put the couch where it's supposed to be i'm going to get the rest of the boxes." Johnny said while stepping toward the front-door.

"Do you need help? I'll be glad to make Two-Bit move the couch more." Dallas said and Two-Bit slapped him on the back of the head. 

"Nah, I got it but thanks, Dal." Johnny said while muffling a giggle, he stepped out and went down the stairs. 

Johnny absentmindedly grabbed the last two boxes and kicked the back car door shut. Johnny walked up the steps and when he reached the top, he took an accidental glance inside the box. 

"OH GOD, KEITH!" Johnny yelled while dropping the two boxes, various sex themed objects came flying out of the open box. Two-Bit came out of the apartment,

"Johnny! Those are expensive!" Two-Bit exclaimed while hastingly picking up the various objects and placing them back in the box, he picked the two boxes up. 

Johnny's eyes were narrowed in disgust, he silently stared straight ahead. Two-Bit shrugged and walked into the apartment with his two boxes, Dallas shook Johnny. 

"You okay, Johnnycakes?" Dallas asked amusingly and Johnny nodded slowly. 

"I'll be fine, now I need to get to bed because I need to find a better job." Johnny stated happily and I tried to walk inside but was stopped by Dallas.

"What's wrong with your current job?" Dallas asked and Johnny sighed. 

"I don't make enough to help pay for this place, plus you and Keith need to get jobs too." Johnny stated and Dallas chuckled. 

"Good luck at getting Keith need to get job." Dallas laughed and Johnny laughed a bit. 

"Yeah, that'll be fun." Johnny muttered and walked passed Dallas, he yawned. Johnny walked into the bedroom with Dallas tagging behind, Two-Bit was already passed out on the bed. 

Johnny removed his shirt and yawned once more. Dallas crawled into the middle of the bed and laid on his back, Johnny laid by Dallas and cuddled up to him. Two-Bit cuddled up to Dallas as well and sighed happily in his sleep. Johnny kissed Dallas lightly and closed his eyes. 

"Goodnight Dallas, I love you." Johnny muttered and sighed. 

"Love you too, Johnnycakes." Dallas whispered and closed his own eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.


	2. Dick Pics Plox

Part 2: Dick Pics Plox

Enjoy~

Dallas decided to comply to what Johnny asked and so he tried to get a job. He had to admit, he was nervous about not being able to get one. Dallas had never had a real job before so he lacked experience. He applied at different places and simply waited for a call. A couple days had passed before he started to give up, but then he heard his phone ring...only problem was he was asleep.

Dallas instantly sat up and violently ripped his phone off it's charger, he quickly answered it.

"Hello?" Dallas answered, trying to sound like he was awake before answering. 

"Hello, is this Dallas Winston?" A male voice on the other end of the line. 

"Yes sir, it is." Dallas said happily, he was happy he got one call back. 

"This is Kyle Michaels, but please call me Mr.Michaels. I believe you applied for a job here at Wal-Mart." Mr.Michaels stated and Dallas kind of felt disappointed, he didn't really want to work there but it worked. 

"Yes I did, sir." Dallas said, trying to mask his inner disappointment. 

"I would like to interview you, how does tomorrow at 9 AM sound?" Mr.Michaels said and Dallas nodded but realized this was a phone call. 

"That sounds okay to me." Dallas said in a fake tone of excitement. 

"Good, see you tomorrow, Dallas." Mr.Michaels said before hanging up. 

"Bye..?" Dallas said confused and locked his phone screen.

"You sounded faker than shit in that phone call, Dal." Two-Bit muttered from beside Dally, he glared at Two-Bit. 

"Shut up, Keith." Dallas said angrily and clambered out of bed.

-The Next Day- 

Dallas was sitting in a small office, looking at the desk in-front of him. He was almost late for his interview because Two-Bit kept trying to molest him that morning. Dallas took out his cell phone and put it on vibrate, he slid it back into his pocket. A man stepped into the room and took a seat behind the desk. 

"Hello Mr.Winston, I spoke to you on the phone yesterday." Mr.Michaels said while stretching his hand toward Dallas. He took Michaels hand and shook his hand. 

"Yes you did, Mr.Michaels." Dallas said, remembering what the man before him wanted to be called. 

Mr.Michaels kept a close eye on Dallas but looked away to look at the papers on his desk, he got a confused look on his face and shuffled through the papers.

"Excuse me for a moment, I need to find some papers.." Mr.Michaels muttered in embarrassment and turned in his chair, the sound of paper rustling is all that could be heard.

Dallas felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he slowly pulled out his phone, he had a text message from Two-Bit; he opened it. 

Two-Bit: Send dick pics plox

Dallas got an eloquent look on his face and replied, glancing up. 

Dally: No, do you not know i'm in an interview?

Dallas glanced back up but then got a reply from Two-Bit.

Two-Bit: I know but I want dick pics...pls?

Dally: No Keith. 

Dallas inhaled sharply at what Two-Bit sent back.

Two-Bit: Want me to send dick pics? Nudes? 

Dally: NO KEITH

Dallas felt his face get warm as he glanced up, seeing the man was still looking. 

Two-Bit: Sent a picture.

Two-Bit: Sent a picture.

"Oh God.." Dallas muttered quietly at what Two-Bit had sent him. 

Two pictures of Two-Bit's special regions and Dallas's face turned red. 

Two-Bit: Sent a picture. 

Two-Bit: Sent a picture. 

Dallas shifted awkwardly, he glanced at the man and thankfully he was still busy. 

Dally: KEITH NO STOP

Dallas could just see Two-Bit laughing at him, he sighed. 

Two-Bit: Why? You getting hot and bothered over there? ;) lol 

Dally: Maybe I am so stop i'm trying to get a job here..interview hasn't even began yet.

Two-Bit: Fine. I'll Stop.

Dally: Good. 

"Okay, now we can begin." Mr.Michaels said while turning around in his chair, Dallas slid his phone back into his pocket. 

...

Dallas walked into the apartment and saw Two-Bit laying on the couch, thankfully fully clothed unlike in those pictures he took earlier. Dallas looked at him angrily and Two-Bit smiled at him. 

"You're an asshole." Dallas stated while crossing his arms over his chest, Two-Bit stood and approached Dallas.

"I know but you still love me." Two-Bit muttered and kissed Dallas. 

"Yeah, sadly I do." Dallas said sarcastically and Two-Bit sighed. 

"Did you get the job?" Two-Bit said while running his fingers through Dallas's hair.

"Yeah, thankfully.." Dallas said and Two-Bit smirked.

"Wanna go celebrate..?" Two-Bit said lustfully and Dallas blushed. 

"Tonight is my turn, Keith." Johnny said while stepping into the room, Two-Bit scowled. 

"I guess you'll have to celebrate with your right hand tonight." Dallas said humorously, Two-Bit growled and Johnny muffled his laughter with his hand. 

"Congratulations on the job, Dallas." Johnny said happily but then looked at Two-Bit sternly. 

"Now you need a job." Johnny muttered and Two-Bit groaned loudly.

"Jobs are stupid!" Two-Bit complained like the Two-Bitch he still was. 

"It won't be stupid when we're living on the streets like hobos." Johnny said while placing his hands on his hips. 

"Maybe I want to be a hobo, you don't know my life," 

"Okay, first off: I do know your life pretty well. Second of all: Go ahead, walk out that door and live under the nearest underpass." Johnny said while motioning toward the door. 

"But I don't wanna.." Two-Bit said sadly. 

"Then stop Two-Bitching and look for a job." Johnny said while walking down the hallway. 

"I'm gonna take a shower, no sex between you two while i'm in there!" Johnny called from the bathroom before closing and locking the door. 

"He didn't say we couldn't make-out while he was in there.." Two-Bit muttered before deeply kissing Dallas. 

They made-out because it was indeed true, Johnny didn't say anything against them making-out together while he was in the shower.


	3. Bottle of Black Paint

Part 3: Bottle of Black Paint

Dallas and Two-Bit were cuddling on the couch, watching a movie when Johnny walked into the apartment. Dallas looked over at Johnny then noticed the pet carrier he was holding. Johnny sat the carrier on the floor and knelt down to open it's gate.

"What is that?" Two-Bit asked while motioning his hand to the carrier.

"Take a look," Johnny said and opened the door to the carrier.

A white, puffy cat stepped out slowly, scoping out it's new surroundings. Johnny picked the cat up and held it like a baby, he was softly cooing at it and the cat meowed happily.

"Why..?" Two-Bit and Dallas asked simultaneously and Johnny sighed heavily.

"I've always wanted a cat and I never got to have one.." Johnny muttered sadly as flashbacks of his past abuse played in his head all at once.

Dallas and Two-Bit frowned because of the pained expression on Johnny's face.

"What did you name it?" Dallas asked, trying to get Johnny's mind off of such things.

Johnny snapped back to reality and looked down at the white puffball that was sitting on his lap.

"Snowbell. I named her Snowbell. I figured since I saved enough money up from Wal-Mart, I would get a cat." Johnny muttered while softly petting Snowbell.

"Why 'Snowbell'? Why not, 'Snowball'?" Two-Bit asked and Johnny sighed.

"Because Keith, I know you'll just end up calling her 'snow testicles' and then she'll think that's her name. I rather not deal with that." Johnny stated, Two-Bit got a slight scowl on his face.

"Plus, I want you guys to watch her when I go to work," Johnny muttered while placing Snowbell on Dallas' lap; she growled lowly.

Dallas looked at the puffball on his lap and slowly pet it, Snowbell settled down and went to sleep.

"See? She already likes you, Dally!" Johnny exclaimed happily and Two-Bit looked at the cat angrily.

"I wanna see if she'll like me!" Two-Bit said and grabbed the cat whose eyes shot open faster than light and let out a shrill hiss.

Next thing that happened came as a blur. Two-Bit let out a scream as Snowbell viciously attacked him, he fell to the floor and rolled around, while still screaming. Johnny quickly ripped Snowbell off the poor rusty-haired boy on the floor. Two-Bit laid sprawled out on the floor with tears stinging his grey eyes.

"Two-Bit?" Dallas asked softly and the boy on the floor put his eyes on Johnny.

"That hurt like Hell!" Two-Bit yelled and Johnny held Snowbell closer to his chest.

"You're not supposed to grab cats like that, Keith! Especially if you just met it." Johnny exclaimed and sat Snowbell on the floor.

"I think I ruined my chances of her liking me.." Two-Bit muttered, sadly as Snowbell avoided him like he was made of snakes.

"Just give it time, Keith." Johnny said with a smile and Two-Bit let out a heavy sigh.

"Okay, I will.."

-A Few Weeks Later-

Two-Bit was sitting on the love-seat and Dallas had fallen asleep on the couch, Johnny was at work. Snowbell had warmed up a bit to Two-Bit but was still weary of him. Two-Bit stood and stumbled into the kitchen, he was ever so slightly drunk. The rusty-haired man looked at the counter, seeing a bottle of black paint. A horrible plan hatched in his drunk little imagination. He smiled and grabbed the bottle then glancing at Snowbell.

Snowbell meowed at Two-Bit and he smirked at the cat. 

"You ever wonder what you would look like if you were black?" Two-Bit slurred and got closer to Snowbell, "Well, that's what i'm wondering right now." 

Two-Bit slowly picked up the puffball, he carried her like a football and stumbled into the bathroom. He put the cat into the bathtub and placed the bottle on the edge. Snowbell sat in the tub and investigated the new scenery. Two-Bit put a lot of black paint on his hand and knelt down by the tub, he smiled. 

"Now sit still for me, Snowbell." Two-Bit muttered and began slathering her in paint. Snowbell purred lightly, the cool paint felt very pleasant against her warm skin. 

Soon, Two-Bit was done and looked at his work, he smiled proudly.

"Hey, you look pretty damn cool.." he said before laughing, he leaned against the white wall and passed out. 

Snowbell jumped out of the tub and walked back into the living room. She sat on the love-seat, getting paint on it in the process. She slowly shut her crystal blue eyes and went to sleep. 

-A Couple Hours Later- 

Johnny tiredly walked up the black, metal stairs and unlocked the apartment's door. He stepped inside, first noticing Dallas' sleeping form on the couch. Johnny sighed and placed his eyes on a black blob on the love-seat. He raised his eyebrow in confusion and slowly approached the blob. The blob moved and opened it's blue eyes, meowing happily at seeing Johnny. 

Johnny's eye twitched in anger and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. 

"DALLAS WINSTON! KEITH MATTHEWS!" Johnny screamed and Snowbell jumped at the sudden noise. 

Dallas violently sat up and looked at Johnny in confusion, Two-Bit staggered into the room, rubbing his temples to relieve his hangover caused headache. 

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CAT?!" Johnny yelled and pointed at his now black cat. 

Dallas looked confused but then looked at Two-Bit, his eyes wide.

"Keith, did you do this?" Dallas muttered while motioning toward Snowbell.

"If I did I don't remember..." Two-Bit murmured and looked at Johnny, giving him a look of shame.

"Keith, why did you do that?" Johnny asked angrily and Two-Bit shrugged.

"I wanted to see what she would look like if she was black.." he muttered while rubbing the back of his neck. 

Johnny sighed heavily and rubbed his temples with his fingers, trying to keep himself calm.

"Keith...you are giving her a bath and she better not have a spec of paint on her when she comes out." Johnny stated and walked to the bedroom, Dallas followed the raven haired boy. 

Two-Bit sighed shamefully and looked at the cat who meowed at him, he walked to the bathroom to run water and he prepared himself for the hissing, the scratching and his own very loud screaming. 

Two-Bit turned off the water and then whimpered, he did not want to give a cat a bath at all. He sucked it up and went to get Snowbell off the love-seat. Snowbell let him carry her but when she saw the tub full of water, she flipped her lid.

Two-Bit football punted her into the tub and violently closed the door behind him. Snowbell hit the water and sent some onto the tile floor. Snowbell hissed and tried to crawl out but Two-Bit quickly grabbed her so she couldn't get out. She clawed his arm and he grunted in agony and held her with one hand so he could put soap on his free hand. Snowbell bit his hand hard and Two-Bit bit down on his bottom lip, he put his other hand on her and rubbed the soap in. 

It took a hour for Two-Bit to get all the paint out of Snowbell's fur, which to Two-Bit was more like 3600 seconds in Hell. He dried her off with a towel and then released her, he leaned against the door way with his arms stinging from bites and scratches. Snowbell avoided Two-Bit again and this depressed him, he walked into the bedroom with a depressed look on his face. 

"Your cat hates me, Johnny.." he muttered, cheerlessly and flopped onto the bed. 

"Well then don't put paint in her fur." Johnny retorted and Two-Bit sighed heavily.

Dallas got close to Johnny's ear, "Johnny, I think he really feels bad about what he did." Dallas muttered and Johnny looked at Two-Bit.

Two-Bit had buried his face into the pillow and just kinda stayed that way, not even moving. Johnny sighed and tapped Two-Bit on the shoulder. 

Two-Bit rolled over slowly and looked at Johnny, he had shame and sadness in his grey eyes. 

"Are you sorry for what you did..?" Johnny asked and rubbed the older boys arm. 

"Yeah, I am.." Two-Bit muttered while looking off at the wall, not wanting to make eye contact with Johnny. 

"I forgive you, Keith." Johnny said with a faint smile and Two-Bit looked at Johnny in surprise.

"Really?" he asked ecstatically and Johnny nodded.

Two-Bit hugged Johnny and then deeply kissed the raven haired boy, Johnny blushed heavily. 

Dallas yawned and fell back onto the bed, letting Two-Bit and Johnny make-out a bit. 

Johnny had to pull away to breathe and looked at Two-Bit with a deep blush on his face, Two-Bit smirked at him. 

"I'm tired.." Johnny muttered and yawned, Two-Bit faltered but wasn't going to force Johnny into something he didn't want at that time. 

Johnny laid on his side of the bed and kicked his shoes onto the floor, Two-Bit snuggled up to Johnny, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

Dallas smiled at the two and laid onto Two-Bit's side of the bed. Johnny had already fallen asleep with Two-Bit following behind. Dallas sighed contently and slowly drifted off to sleep. 

A/N: I hope you're enjoying so far! I tried to show Johnny and Two-Bit's relationship more in this to show they are romantically together just like Dallas and Two-Bit are and so on.


	4. The Stairs, The Cat, and The Ham

Part 4: The Stairs, The Cat, and The Ham 

Two-Bit and Dallas were home alone with Snowbell once more, Johnny was reluctant to leave them but pushed aside the fear within him. Snowbell had warmed up to Two-Bit again and was sleeping on his lap, Dallas had fallen asleep next to Two-Bit on the couch. Two-Bit was thankfully sober this time but this didn't mean he wasn't going to think of something stupid. Snowbell was purring softly as a response to Two-Bit's slow and steady petting. Two-Bit looked at Snowbell and an idea was birthed in his beautiful mind.

"Hey Snowbell, can you walk down stairs?" Two-Bit asked and Snowbell opened her eyes to look at Two-Bit, she meowed softly.

"Let's go find out." Two-Bit muttered and carried Snowbell, this time he carried her properly.

Two-Bit opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, closing the door slowly behind him. He sat the puffball onto the cement and Snowbell investigated her new surroundings. Two-Bit pushed her over to the steps, Snowbell looked down them. 

"Come on, I wanna see if you can make it down the stairs." Two-Bit begged and Snowbell meowed happily at him, taking her first step down the steps.

"Huh...cats can walk down stairs.." Two-Bit muttered in amazement at the sight that was happening before him.

Snowbell was almost to the bottom now and was making wonderful progress but then on the last few steps, she slipped. She tumbled down the last few steps and stopped at the bottom, laying there limply. 

"Ohhh, shit.." Two-Bit said normally and ran his fingers through his rusty hair, "Ohhh, shit!" 

Snowbell continued to lay there, seeming to be lifeless at the bottom of the steps. 

"Snowbell..?" Two-Bit asked but received no answer, no movements came from Snowbell. 

"What did you do?" Dallas said while standing in the doorway, Two-Bit looked at the blond haired man with worry.

"I wanted to see if she could walk down the steps and she was doing good but then she slipped and fell..I am so sorry, I did not mean for this." Two-Bit spat out quickly and Dallas sighed.

"We better fix this before Johnny comes home otherwise you're dead." Dallas muttered and looked down at the cat at the bottom.

"...Is she even alive..?" Dallas muttered fearfully and Two-Bit stood by the younger man. 

"I have no clue.." Two-Bit murmured and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. 

Snowbell was still laying at the bottom, not twitching or anything. 

"Go down and get heeer!" Two-Bit whined and Dallas looked at Two-Bit like he had lost his mind.

"Keith, this is your fault, you go down there and get her." Dallas stated sternly and Two-Bit groaned.

"But it's too far!" Two-Bit complained and sighed heavily.

Dallas thought for a moment and then his eyes lit up, he stepped back into the apartment. Two-Bit waited for Dallas and continued to stroke out about Snowbell. Dallas stepped back outside but had a pack of ham with him, he opened it.

"Dallas, what the fu-" Two-Bit began but Dallas shut him up with a finger to his lips.

"I have an idea!" Dallas exclaimed and walked to the steps, taking a look at the puffball at the bottom. 

Dallas took a piece of ham into his hand and aimed it, taking a lot of patience to get it right. Two-Bit watched in deep confusion as Dallas continued to aim. Dallas finally tossed the ham which landed right onto Snowbell, who still did not budge. 

"Dallas."

"Yeah?"

"Why the fuck did you throw ham on the damn cat?!" Two-Bit yelled and Dallas looked at him angrily.

"I'm trying to lure her up the steps, dumbass!" Dallas yelled back and Two-Bit rolled his grey eyes.

"Don't cha' think it would've worked better if you hung a piece of ham in front of her nose?" Two-Bit asked and Dallas sat there for a moment but then got a look of realization. 

"Ohh.." Dallas whispered while placing his hand on his mouth.

Two-Bit and Dallas continued to stare down at the cat, Two-Bit whimpered.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HER, DALLAS!" Two-Bit cried out dramatically and buried his face into Dallas' shoulder.

"Keith, it 'll be okay " Dallas muttered soothingly while still watching the cat.

Snowbell twitched and then sat up a bit, looking at the ham that laid upon her. She stood up and so the ham fell to the concrete, she quickly went to eat it up.

"Keith, look." Dallas muttered and pointed at the cat who was very much alive.

Two-Bit looked over at the bottom of the stairs and saw the cat, happily indulging in the piece of ham. 

"SNOWBELL!" Two-Bit yelled and ran down the steps, almost falling down himself. Snowbell had finished the ham and was quickly taken up into Two-Bit's arms. Snowbell yelped in pain and Two-Bit looked at her, noticing her leg was bleeding.

"Oh God, Snowbell.." Two-Bit muttered and walked back up the steps, walking into the apartment to the bathroom.

Dallas followed Two-Bit and watched as Two-Bit took care of the poor injured cat. Snowbell purred softly as the rusty haired man finished and sat her onto the floor, Snowbell limped to the living room.

"I fucked up again." Two-Bit stated shamefully and looked down at the tile floor, Dallas placed his hand onto his shoulder.

"Just explain what happened to Johnny, it sounds innocent enough and Snowbell doesn't hate you this time." Dallas muttered and kissed Two-Bit on the cheek. 

"Okay, I'll explain to Johnny when he gets home.."

-A Couple Hours Later- 

Johnny walked into the apartment and saw his two lovers on the couch, he lightly smiled at them and closed the door behind him. Snowbell limped up to her owner and mewed happily up at him, Johnny quickly took notice of the limping.

"What happened this time?" Johnny said with a sigh and Two-Bit looked at Johnny shamefully. 

"I wanted to see if she could walk down the steps outside and so she did. She was doing well but then she kind of tumbled down the last few steps and I thought she died but she was just injured." Two-Bit muttered and refused to look at Johnny.

Johnny sighed and slowly picked his cat up, investigating the bandage Two-Bit made. 

"Well...at least you took care of it, pretty well I might add." Johnny muttered and sat Snowbell onto the love-seat. 

"So..are you mad?" Two-Bit asked and Johnny shook his head.

"Nah, you took care of it, unlike last time." Johnny muttered and sat by Two-Bit on the couch.

"So, i'm not in trouble?" Two-Bit muttered and Johnny lightly kissed him.

"Nope, you did well this time." Johnny said happily and Two-Bit smiled widely.

The three spent the rest of the evening watching movies and just enjoying each other's company.


	5. Flour Fight

Part 5: Flour Fight 

Once again, Johnny left for work and left his cat with Two-Bit and Dallas. Two-Bit was sitting on the couch with Dallas, holding his lovers hand while watching TV; Snowbell was sleeping on the love-seat. Two-Bit shifted a bit and was getting a bit restless, he let go of Dallas' hand and stood. Dallas looked at him but let Two-Bit do what he wanted. 

Two-Bit walked into the kitchen and stepped up to the cabinets, slowly opening them and taking a look inside. He found nothing he wanted so he shut them, groaning to himself. He moved to the fridge and opened the door, kneeling down to take a look inside. He again found nothing he wanted but then something caught his attention. He saw a pretty good sized bag of flour on the door shelf, he stared at it for a few moments but then an idea grew in his mind. 

Two-Bit smirked mischievously and grabbed the bag of flour, standing slowly and closing the door behind him. The rusty haired man hid the flour behind his back and made his way back into the living room, taking his seat by Dallas once again. Dallas was intently watching a show and so wasn't really taking notice of Two-Bit. He slowly opened the bag of flour and then got a fist full of it, he slowly placed his fist onto his lap. Two-Bit tapped Dallas on the shoulder to get his attention, the blond haired man looked at him. 

"What, Two-Bit?" Dallas asked, annoyed and Two-Bit kept his smile off of his face.

"Dallas, have you noticed what's wrong with your hair?" Two-Bit asked while running his fingers through Dallas' hair, making sure to use his free hand.

"What do you mean?" Dallas asked nervously and glanced upwards but then looking back at Two-Bit. 

"Some of it seems to be turning...brown.." Two-Bit muttered, feigning concern and Dallas got a worried look on his face.

"Brown..?" Dallas muttered and touched his hair, obviously concerned about his precious white blond hair turning into a turd brown. 

"Yes, brown, but I can help you fix it." Two-Bit said with a light smile and Dallas looked at him.

"Really?" Dallas asked, amazed and Two-Bit nodded.

"Yeah, I can just close your eyes for me." Two-Bit muttered and Dallas looked at him reluctantly but obliged to his request. 

Two-Bit had to admit, he was shocked that Dallas was going along with everything but then again, Dallas usually would do anything to save his hair. Two-Bit moved swiftly and slapped the flour onto Dallas' head, the flour falling into his hair and onto his shoulders. Dallas had his mouth agape at Two-Bit and arched his eyebrows in anger.

"KEITH, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Dallas yelled and growled at his lover.

"Well now it's not brown!" Two-Bit said happily and Dallas grabbed the bag of flour that was at Two-Bit's side. 

Dallas got a hand full of flour and threw it in Two-Bit's face, smiling evilly. Two-Bit slightly flew backward and glared at Dallas, he threw another hand full of flour at Dallas. Soon, a fight broke out amongst the two. 

-A few moments later- 

Johnny was stepping up the steps and approached the apartment door. Johnny extended his hand toward the door knob but then heard the screaming, yelling and crashing coming from inside. Johnny took in a deep breath and unlocked the door, slowly releasing as he opened the door. Johnny stood shocked in the door way at what laid before him. Dallas was on-top of Two-Bit and threw flour into his face. The living room was covered in flour, it was a huge mess. 

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Johnny yelled and Two-Bit looked over at Johnny, the flour on his face shifted and fell off. 

Dallas crawled off of Two-Bit and shamefully sat by him, sort of looking like a depressed dog. 

"Two-Bit said my hair was turning brown and so I believed him, and then he threw flour into my hair. I got mad and threw flour back and....now this happened.." Dallas said, throwing Two-Bit under the bus and motioning to the living room. 

Johnny stared blankly at his two lovers but then got a look of concern on his face.

"Where's Snowbell?" Johnny muttered and Two-Bit got wide eyed.

The two had forgotten about Snowbell and so had no idea where she was, especially since she was white and there was flour everywhere. Johnny bared his teeth angrily and the two other boys got frightened looks on their faces.

" I swear if you don't find my cat, there will be no sex in this household for one whole year!" Johnny screamed and Dallas and Two-Bit near about fainted. 

"No fair!" Two-Bit complained and had miserable look on his face. 

"Yeah, we have high sex drives.." Dallas retorted and Johnny just glared at them both. 

"Thankfully for me, I don't so you guys better find my cat!" Johnny exclaimed angrily and stomped off into the bedroom. 

Dallas and Two-Bit started violently looking for the white cat amongst the white flour. They near about flipped the couch over due to their desperation not to lose their sex life, but they could not find Snowbell.

After an hour, they could not find the cat. Two-Bit was close to tears and Dallas had a forlorn look on his face.

"Dallas...I don't wanna give up sex for a year.." 

"I don't want to nether.." Dallas muttered and sighed heavily.

Suddenly, a pile of flour twitched and then completely fell over. Snowbell jumped off the love-seat and walked to the bedroom where her owner was. Dallas and Two-Bit looked at each other in awe, they looked EVERYWHERE and still could not find the cat. Johnny walked into the room with his cat in his arms and had a smile on his face. 

"Well, it seems you guys can keep your sex lives after all." Johnny said happily while slowly petting Snowbell.

Two-Bit and Dallas let out a sigh of relief and Johnny returned to the bedroom with his cat.

Dallas looked at Two-Bit longingly but then Johnny entered the room once more.

"Oh, you guys need to clean his up." Johnny muttered while motioning around the room.

Dallas groaned and Two-Bit whimpered. 

They spent the rest of their evening cleaning up the mess they had made.


	6. Manspreading and The Nervous Game

Part 6: Manspreading and The Nervous Game

 

Johnny and Dallas were sitting on the couch, watching TV together. Dallas was intently watching a show when he saw Johnny make a weird body movement. He looked over to the raven haired boy beside him and raised an eyebrow in confusion. Johnny was slowly spreading his legs, which would cause him to slowly slide off the couch, he was muttering something that Dallas couldn't understand. 

Johnny was completely concentrated on his actions and didn't notice Dallas' confused look. Johnny kept doing the action until he actually noticed Dallas. 

"Oh hey, Dally." Johnny said, happily and sat correctly on the couch. 

"What were you doing?" Dallas asked and Johnny shrugged.

"Manspreading." Johnny said, happily and Dallas became even more conflicted. 

"What the Hell is manspreading?" Dallas asked, confused and Johnny giggled. 

"You're doing it right now," Johnny stated while motioning to Dallas' legs. 

Dallas looked to his legs, they were slightly spread but he always sat with his legs spread. So did Two-Bit and every other man he knew. 

"What's so special about-" Dallas began but cut himself off when he noticed Johnny had continued to manspread. 

"Manspreading..." Johnny whispered over and over and Dallas turned back to the TV. 

"Okay then.." Dallas muttered while letting Johnny continue his acts. 

 

-Later That Day- 

 

Two-Bit and Dallas were cuddling on the love-seat together, Johnny had gone to work. Two-Bit sighed and looked at Dally, who was almost asleep. An idea popped into Two-Bit's mind, he smiled.

"Hey Dally, you wanna play a game?" Two-Bit asked and Dallas looked at him. 

"What game..?" Dallas asked, weary of any idea Two-Bit made up. 

"Let's play The Nervous Game!" Two-Bit exclaimed and Dallas looked at him, confused. 

"What's that?" Dallas asked, puzzled. 

"It's when you grope another person until they get nervous." Two-Bit explained and Dallas sighed. 

"I'm gonna lose.." Dallas muttered and pulled from Two-Bit, he was now sitting beside him. 

"You ready?" Two-Bit asked, preparing his groping hands.

"Sure, why not.." Dallas muttered while trying to relax himself.

Two-Bit placed one hand on Dallas' knee, slowly sliding his hand up his thigh. He had his other on Dallas' side, slowly rubbing it. 

"Nervous yet?" Two-Bit asked while looking at the blond. 

"N-No, I'm not.." Dallas stuttered and blushed heavily when Two-Bit pressed his lips on his neck. 

"No fair!" Dallas muttered as Two-Bit kept kissing. 

"Nervous now?" Two-Bit muttered and Dallas sighed.

"Not really nervous but..more aroused.." Dallas said, quietly and Two-Bit smirked. 

"Really now..?" Two-Bit whispered while slowly rubbing Dallas' thigh. 

"Shut up and take me." Dallas said before deeply kissing Two-Bit.

 

-About An Hour Later- 

 

Johnny was walking up the stairs and approached the apartment door. He was greeted with familiar voices and noises, he felt his face get hot. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. 

"OH GOD!" Johnny screamed and covered his eyes, closing the door behind him. 

Two-Bit violently grabbed a nearby blanket and covered himself and Dallas. 

"WHY ON THE LOVE-SEAT?!" Johnny yelled, he uncovered his eyes.

"Well, it is called a love-seat.." Two-Bit muttered and Dallas slapped him on the back of the head. 

"I just got the paint stain out of the cushion and now both of you are making new stains!" Johnny exclaimed and sighed. 

"How long have you guys been at it?" Johnny asked and Two-Bit looked at the clock. 

"An hour and a half.." Two-Bit said, shamefully and Johnny face-palmed.

"Jesus Christ, does Dallas even have any tread left?" Johnny sighed and Dallas shifted awkwardly. 

"You know what? Finish. I'm going to bed. Join me when you're done." Johnny said while making his way to the bedroom. 

Two-Bit looked at Dallas, shrugged and kissed the blond. The two finished as Johnny suffered in the bedroom.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

A/N: If you are unaware of what manspreading is, let me explain. Manspreading is when a man sits with his legs slightly spread, usually to be more comfortable.

Feminists try to make this a bad thing, as a feminist myself, I have to say there is bad with it but also good with it.

I believe sit like this to be more comfortable, so they are not crushing their testicles when they sit. I think it's just common decency for a man to close his legs so a woman ( or maybe another man) can sit comfortably next to him.

 

I think feminists that think it should be banned are completely unreasonable. Men usually sit like that for comfort, women don't have to spread their legs to be comfortable. Men have testicles which are very sensitive.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

A/N #2: I want you guys to know I take suggestions for these, if you have an idea pass it to me. You can comment it here or message it to me.


	7. Cheetos and The Illuminati

Part 7: Cheetos and The Illuminati

Two-Bit was sitting on the couch with his hand shoved in a bag of Cheetos. His eyes were half shut, as if he was squinting. He was stoned out of his mind and was having the munchies like he always does when he get's stoned. His posture was poor, he was lazily laying/sitting on the couch. Snowbell was sleeping on his lap, right by the bag of Cheetos.

Dallas was laying on his face on the couch, he was drunk off his ass. An empty beer bottle was sitting by Two-Bit's foot. The rusty-haired man twitched his foot, knocking over Dallas' empty beer bottle. Dallas instantly looked up and put his clouded, blue eyes on Two-Bit.

"The fuck was that shit?" Dallas slurred and slowly tried to sit up.

"What are you gonna do about it, Dallas LOSERstin?" Two-Bit slurred back and laughed like a maniac.

"I'll slap the shit out of you!" Dallas exclaimed and moved closer to Two-Bit

"Oh yeah? Do it then." Two-Bit said with a smirk.

Dallas threw the first punch, but it was rather. . . sloppy and slow. The 'punch' landed on Two-Bit's arm. 

"Ow! That wasn't even a slap!" Two-Bit exclaimed and rubbed where Dallas assaulted him. 

"Deal with it!" Dallas retorted and stuck his tongue out at Two-Bit.

The rusty haired man growled like a wolf and sloppily slapped Dallas. The blond gasped and slapped Two-Bit back. . . but in slow motion. Two-Bit slapped him back, soon a rather anticlimactic, slow-motion slap fight broke out.

"You done yet?" Dallas slurred as Two-Bit made Dallas slap himself.

"Maybe I am, but why are you hitting yourself?" Two-Bit asked and Dallas squirmed, trying to get out of Two-Bit's grip.

"Stop it!" Dallas whined and squirmed some more. 

Two-Bit laughed and made Dallas slap himself once again. 

"Make me!" Two-Bit pinned Dallas so the blond could not move.

Dallas made a strange whimpering noise, he also sobbed. Suddenly, he let out a shrill, high pitched scream. Two-Bit hurriedly unpinned Dallas and covered his ears, he made a pained facial expression. He looked down at Dallas, who was smiling now. 

"Bro, what the fuck was that shit?" Two-Bit asked while uncovering his ears.

Dallas shrugged, "Defense mechanism," he muttered. 

Two-Bit sat on the couch by Dallas and continued to look at him. Dallas sat by Two-Bit and watched TV.

"What in the world was that noise?" Johnny asked while walking into the room.

"That was Dallas' defense mechanism apparently. ." Two-Bit said while placing the bag of Cheetos back on his lap. 

"Sounded like one of you stepped on Snowbell's paw. .Dally, you've never done that before." Johnny said, making his way to the love-seat. 

"Tryin' to make it a trademark of mine!" Dallas exclaimed and smiled at Johnny.

"Please, don't. ." Johnny said quietly and gave Dallas an anxious look. 

Dallas pouted at Johnny and Johnny simply raised an eyebrow. Dallas looked down in defeat.

"Fine." Dallas muttered and continued to pout. 

Snowbell took her place back on Two-Bit's lap, right by the bag of Cheetos. Johnny sighed lightly and was watching TV. Two-Bit had his grey eyes glued to the TV while trying to slip his hand into the bag of chips. He missed and grabbed Snowbell's paw. Snowbell mewed in confusion as Two-Bit pulled her up by her leg. The rusty haired man thought it was rather strange that the Cheeto was hairy but then he looked at his hand. He squinted at Snowbell but then his eyes widened. 

"Holy shit. ." Two-Bit whispered and quickly let go of Snowbell. 

"Keith, what's wrong now?" Johnny asked and Two-Bit started looking at the bag. 

"No triangles. ." Two-Bit muttered and violently threw the bag onto the floor. 

"Keith, what are you-" Dallas slurred but was cut off when Two-Bit gave him a deranged look.

"The bag. . it has no triangles. .a-and I pulled a cat out of the bag. ." Two-Bit got a severe look of realization, "The Illuminati is onto us." 

"The Illuma-huh?" Dallas said, confused and Johnny face-palmed. 

"Cheetos are made from cats, I mean I pulled a whole one out of the bag. .They know we did something wrong! They know!" 

"The Illuminati is not God, Two-Bit. ." Johnny said and Two-Bit looked at the tanned boy. 

"Why are you defending them?" Two-Bit gasped, "You're a member of the Illuminati!"

"Umm. .no, no I'm not. ." Johnny said while running his fingers through his black hair.

"That's exactly what a member of The Illuminati would say!" Two-Bit pointed at Johnny and looked at Dallas, "apprehend him!"

"I'm not your slave, Keith. It's not Johnny's fault you're tripping balls." Dallas said defensively.

"I-I'm surrounded by The Illuminati!" Two-Bit yelled and put his hands on the sides of his face. 

Two-Bit placed Snowbell on the floor and laid the bag on the couch by Dallas. He slowly laid onto the floor and brought his legs to his chest. 

"Illuminati." Two-Bit whispered in panic and Johnny sighed heavily. 

Two-Bit was hugging his legs to his chest. Dallas looked at Two-Bit and slowly went for the Cheetos. 

Dallas grabbed the bag and Two-Bit heard the crinkling of the bag. He shot up faster than a snake and violently ripped the bag out of Dallas' hands.

"Get your own Illuminati chips!" Two-Bit yelled and held the bag like a baby.

"I thought you wouldn't want them because of them being from the. .um. .Illaminti?" Dallas muttered and looked at Johnny. 

"So? They're still mine. ." Two-Bit pouted. 

"Actually, they're technically mine considering I bought them but whatever." Johnny said from the love-seat. 

"I'll fight you for them!" Dallas exclaimed and jumped on-top of Two-Bit.

"MY CHIPS!" Two-Bit screamed and began to fight Dallas.

Johnny stood and began to leave the room, he stopped at the entrance of the hall. 

"You guys. .have fun with that, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, I love you, guys." Johnny said, softly and walked to the bedroom.

Dallas and Two-Bit fought for hours but they both eventually passed out. Dallas had passed out on-top of Two-Bit. Dallas suffered a massive hangover the next day and Two-Bit remembered nothing about his Illuminati rambling. 

A/N: Remember, I still take suggestions for these :)


	8. A Baked Cade

Part 8: A Baked Cade 

 

WARNING: Drug use and sexual content. 

 

It was late in the afternoon, Two-Bit was sitting on the couch and once again, he was high. Dallas was sober along with Johnny, but Two-Bit wanted someone to be plastered with him. 

 

"Hey, Dally, come get stoned with me!" Two-Bit slurred and Dallas looked over at the messed up man. 

 

"No, thank you." Dallas replied and turned back to the magazine he was looking at.

 

"But..but Dallas!" Two-Bit whined and crawled to Dallas.

 

"I even made you your own blunt!" Two-Bit begged and Dallas scrunched his face at Two-Bit.

 

"I said no, Keith. I'm not in the mood." Dallas muttered and laid his eyes back on the magazine.

 

Two-Bit had his bottom lip stuck out, his eyes filled with sadness but Dallas did not change his mind. The red haired man scowled at the blond and turned his eyes to the boy sitting next to Dallas. He knew it was a long shot but he figured it wouldn't hurt to ask Johnny. 

 

"Johnn-"

 

"No, Keith." Johnny replied before Two-Bit could even finish. 

 

"Aw, come on! You've never even tried it before!" Two-Bit exclaimed and sat on the floor.

 

"So? You know how I feel about that kind of stuff.."

 

"You've gotten drunk once before now you gotta get high at least this one time!" Two-Bit said with a smile and Johnny looked over at him from the cornor of his eye.

 

"I dunno, Two-Bit, I don't want to get addicted.." Johnny muttered and looked away shyly. 

 

"I promise you won't, I'll even hide it if you want me to." Two-Bit said and extended his hand to Johnny. 

 

Johnny sighed heavily and took the joint from in between Two-Bit's fingers.

 

"I swear, if I do something stupid it's your fault, Keith.." Johnny warned and Two-Bit sniggered.

 

"You won't man, well, actually you might but I won't let you leave the apartment." 

 

"Promise?" Johnny asked, softly.

 

"I promise, Johnnycakes, now take a drag." Two-Bit said and Johnny looked down at the joint that was now resting in between his own fingers.

 

Johnny sighed and took a drag. 

 

-Later- 

 

Johnny was staring straight ahead, his eyes were mere slits. He slowly looked over at Two-Bit and randomly started to giggle. 

 

"Two-Bit, I cannot believe you did this!" Dallas exclaimed and facepalmed.

 

"Come on, he's alright." Two-Bit giggled and motioned to the stoned Johnny Cade. 

 

"Bro..did I drink all of this?" Johnny asked and held up a liter of Dr. Pepper.

 

"Yes, you did, Johnny." Dallas answered and Johnny laughed.

 

"That's so awesome.." Johnny slurred and slid off the couch onto the floor.

 

"Dear God, I hope he'll be okay. He's never been high before.." Dallas said, concerned and Two-Bit sighed.

 

"I promise, he'll be fine."

 

"Okay.." Dallas muttered and glanced over at Johnny. 

 

Johnny was staring at the TV, laughing at things that weren't even funny.

 

"I'm going to the bathroom, keep an eye on him, Dallas." Two-Bit said and made his way down the hallway.

 

A few minutes later, Two-Bit reentered the room and Johnny looked at him in shock.

 

"Sponge boy me Bob!" Johnny called out and hugged Two-Bit's leg.

 

"It's alright, I just went to the bathroom." Two-Bit giggled and patted Johnny's head.

 

"I thought you said you were off to the war to kill all the mean aliens.." Johnny muttered and Dallas facepalmed. 

 

"No, I just went to use the bathroom, I promise.." Two-Bit said and Johnny crawled back to where he was sitting before. 

 

Johnny leaned against the couch and looked down at his lap, he began slapping his thighs.

 

"Johnny, what are you doing?" Dallas asked and Johnny looked at Dallas.

 

"I have to go to school for hamboning!" Johnny said and continued to slap his thighs.

 

"...isn't that what you're doing right now?" Dallas said and motioned to Johnny's hands. 

 

"No, this is called," Johnny looked down at his lap and quickly looked back at Dallas, holding up his middle finger, "fuck you. " 

 

Dallas stared at Johnny, dumbfounded that Johnny would do that to him. Two-Bit was muffling his laughter and Dallas glared at him.

 

"Two-Bit, this is your fault!" Dallas growled and Two-Bit made a waving motion.

 

"I told you, he'll be fine." 

 

"You call Johnny flipping me off 'fine'?!" 

 

"Yeah."

 

Dallas facepalmed once again.

 

Johnny stared at his lap and then unbottoned his pants. Dallas covered his mouth and Two-Bit stared in shock.

 

"No, Johnny, what are you doing?!" Two-Bit exclaimed and Johnny looked at Two-Bit, blankly.

 

Johnny was staring right at Two-Bit when he began to absentmindedly jerk himself off.

 

"OH GOD, JOHNNY, NO DON'T DO THAT!" Dallas yelled and fisted his hair. 

 

Johnny made a confused expression but kept at his actions, Two-Bit began to laugh really hard.

 

"TWO-BIT, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Dallas screamed and pointed at Johnny, "MAKE HIM STOP THAT!"

 

"You can't stop a man when he wants to love himself, Dally, that's not right." 

 

"I DON'T CARE, MAKE HIM STOP!" 

 

"Dallas, I'm not gonna make him stop, he's fine." Two-Bit said and sat by Dallas on the couch.

 

"Oh..I peed.." Johnny said quietly and Two-Bit sniggered.

 

"...That was quick, Johnny.." Dallas muttered and Johnny looked over at Dallas, anger had spread onto his face.

 

"You know what? Fuck you, Dallas. I can pee whenever I want and you can't stop me!" Johnny yelled and pulled his hand from his pants.

 

Dallas sat still, he had a complete straight face.

 

"Johnny, what were you doing?" Dallas asked, softly and Johnny smiled.

 

"I was ham-bonering!" Johnny said, happily and nothing could prepare him for what was about to happen.

 

Two-Bit straight up punched Johnny, in the face. Johnny tipped over onto the floor and looked up at Two-Bit.

 

"Bruh, what the Hell was that?" Johnny asked and rubbed his cheek.

 

"Pun. You made a pun." Two-Bit said, coldly and Dallas looked at Two-Bit with his mouth agape.

 

"What pun did he make that made you want to punch him in the face..?" Dallas asked, calmy. 

 

"He was hamboning and then he masturbated and he called that ham-bonering!" Two-Bit defended and Dallas made a sob noise.

 

"I'm going to the bathroom to get away from the mean man!" Johnny said and began crawling to the bathroom. 

 

Two-Bit began to follow but Dallas stopped him.

 

"J-J-Just let him go do whatever, make sure he doesn't leave." Dallas stuttered and made his way to the bedroom, his eyes were dead to the world.

 

Two-Bit followed Dallas but stopped at the bathroom door. Johnny was leaning against the wall when he looked over at Snowbell, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. 

 

"Snowbell, why are you white?" Johnny slurred and Snowbell mewed at him.

 

"Johnny, that's racist." Two-Bit muttered and Johnny gasped.

 

"Son of a bitch!" Johnny exclaimed.

 

"Two-Bit..h-hey, Keith.." Johnny muttered and Two-Bit looked up at Johnny.

 

"Hmm?" 

 

Johnny took in a deep breath, he looked horrified. 

 

"SNAKE AND LOOPIN WERE IN DA MIDDLE OF DA EMPTY HALL, DOIN' IT, AND DOBBY WAS WATCHING!" Johnny screamed in terror and slid down to the floor.

 

Two-Bit curved his eyebrows in confusion and laughed.

 

"Two-Bit, I'm tired.." Johnny yawned and slowly blinked.

 

"Then sleep."

 

"Okay...goodnight, sweet prince.." Johnny whispered and closed his eyes. 

 

Two-Bit laughed, "Goodnight," he said and made his way to the bedroom.

 

-The Next Day- 

 

Johnny slowly opened his eyes and first noticed that he was hugging the toilet. He scrunched his face up in disgust but then noticed the pain that was in his cheek. He rubbed his cheek and winced in pain.

 

"What happ-" Johnny felt a realization, "I have a feeling I made a pun." 

 

Johnny stood up and looked down to his lap, noticing the stain.

 

"Oh God, what did I do?!" Johnny exclaimed and quickly made his way to the bedroom. 

 

Dallas and Two-Bit were just now waking up and Johnny approached Two-Bit.

 

"What's with my injured face and what's with this..this stain?" Johnny asked and Two-Bit giggled.

 

"Well, you made a pun so I punched you for it and then you started to masturbate, that's what that stain is." Two-Bit explained and Johnny blushed heavily. 

 

"I-I masturbated, in front of you?!" Johnny exclaimed and covered his face. 

 

"Yeah, you did but you also drank and entire liter of soda." Two-Bit said and Johnny looked like he was going to cry.

 

"Two-Bit, do not ever let me get high ever again!" Johnny said and sat on the edge of the bed.

 

"Deal." Two-Bit yawned and rolled over.

 

"Now, I know how Johnny feels when we get high." Dallas sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

 

"I won't ever do it again. Ever." Johnny said and put his face in his cupped hands. 

 

"Good." Dallas said with a smile. 

 

A/N: The bold part in this is from the infamous, Harry Potter fanfiction "My Immortal" I do not take credit for it and it belongs to it's rightful owner.

 

A/N #2: The title of this part is a pun, I hope you get it.


	9. Little Puffballs

Part 9: Little Puffballs

 

 

Two-Bit had decided to get his own pet. He figured he was mature enough and so he went to get another cat. He was walking around the back of the apartment building, around the dumpsters. Various cats ran away from him and some even hissed loudly at him. He frowned when the cats wouldn't let him near them until he noticed a black cat was rubbing against his leg. Two-Bit smiled and slowly picked up the cat, holding it in his arms."Hey there.." Two-Bit muttered and rubbed the cat's belly, making it purr.

 

"Are you a boy or a girl?" Two-Bit asked and flipped the cats behind so he could look.

 

"Ooo, a boy, I always wanted a tomcat." Two-Bit said, happily. 

 

Back at the apartment, Johnny and Dallas were being annoyed by Snowbell's loud meowing.

 

"Make her stop, Johnny!" Dallas begged and covered his ears with his hands. 

 

Snowbell jumped onto Dallas' lap and presented herself to him.

 

"I can't help she's in heat, Dally!" Johnny exclaimed and grabbed Snowbell off Dallas.

 

Snowbell mewed at Johnny and began to rub heavily against Johnny.

 

"She needs to stop twerking everywhere!" Dallas exclaimed and glared at Snowbell. 

 

"She'll stop soon, I promise." Johnny muttered and sat Snowbell onto the floor. 

 

The front door opened and they both looked up to see who it was. Two-Bit stepped inside with his black cat, Johnny raised an eyebrow at him.

 

"What's that?" Johnny asked.

 

"It's a cat, Johnny, I would think you knew what one of these are." Two-Bit answered.

 

"You know what I mean, why is it here?" Johnny said and quickly picked up his precious Snowbell. 

 

"It is a he, Johnny! How rude of you!" Two-Bit exclaimed and sat the black cat onto the floor. 

 

"Why did you bring him here?" Johnny asked, calmly while slowly petting Snowbell which caused her to mew louder. 

 

"I wanted a cat so I got one." Two-Bit answered and sat by his cat.

 

"And where did you get him?" Johnny asked, curiously.

 

"Behind the building by the dumpsters, he's precious, isn't he?" Two-Bit cooed and pet the cat. 

 

"Oh god, he's a dumpster cat!" Johnny exclaimed and held Snowbell close to his chest.

 

"Why are you so upset? He's alright." Two-Bit muttered and picked up the cat and held it like a baby. 

 

"He's probably got diseases that he's going to give to Snowbell!" Johnny exclaimed and Snowbell mewed at him. 

 

"Oh, your precious baby will be fine, Johnnycakes." Two-Bit said while rolling his grey eyes. 

 

"You better hope she'll be." Johnny growled and sat Snowbell onto the floor. 

 

Snowbell looked up curiously at the black cat that was in Two-Bit's arms and meowed at him. The black cat mewed back and squirmed in Two-Bit's arms.

 

"Looks like they wanna met each other!" Two-Bit said, happily. 

 

"I swear, if he hurts my Snowbell." Johnny threatened but Two-Bit shrugged him off.

 

"Nah, they'll be fine." 

 

"You better hope they'll be." Johnny muttered and looked at the cats.

 

Snowbell rubbed against the other cat, purring softly. The cat mewed happily and sniffed Snowbell.

 

"What did you name him?" Dallas asked, Two-Bit shrugged.

 

"I haven't really thought of a name to be honest.." Two-Bit muttered and stroked his chin. 

 

"Let's name him...Pussy Destroyer!" Two-Bit exclaimed, happily.

 

Johnny looked at Two-Bit, "I am not letting a cat be named 'Pussy Destroyer' in my house!" 

 

"Ugh, fine." Two-Bit groaned.

 

"Name him something like..Kevin or something.." Johnny muttered and crossed his arms.

 

"Who the fuck names a cat, Kevin?" Two-Bit asked.

 

"Well, it's better than naming him 'Pussy Destroyer'!" Johnny defended. 

 

"Then I'll name him..umm.." Two-Bit tapped his chin with his finger.

 

"How about naming him after Dallas!" Two-Bit exclaimed and looked at Dallas.

 

"Naming a cat 'Dallas'? What even-" Dallas began but Two-Bit cut him off.

 

"No, we name him Winston!" Two-Bit said and Dallas raised an eyebrow. 

 

"And that's better how?" Dallas muttered.

 

"Winston is his name now weather you guys like it or not." Two-Bit said while crossing his arms. 

 

Johnny sighed and then heard Snowbell let out a loud screech. He quickly turned his head and saw that Winston had mounted Snowbell.

 

"OH GOD, KEITH!" Johnny screamed and placed his hands on the sides of his face. 

 

"Winston met Snowbell alright.." Dallas muttered and sighed.

 

"He's horny like Dallas too!" Two-Bit exclaimed and Dallas slapped him on the back of the head. 

 

"GET HIM OFF!" Johnny yelled and pointed at the cats.

 

"You can't do that, they're practically stuck like that for a few minutes.." Two-Bit muttered.

 

Johnny whimpered and sat on the couch, "My precious baby.." he whispered. 

 

"Come on, Johnny, she had to grow up sometime." Two-Bit muttered and sat by Johnny.

 

"B-But I thought she would mate with a fancier cat.." Johnny muttered and Two-Bit gave him a bored look.

 

"Kittens will still come out, Johnny." Two-Bit said, coldly.

 

"I guess that's one good thing that'll come out of...that.." Johnny muttered while motioning to the cats. 

 

"She'll be fine, I promise.." Two-Bit cooed and kissed Johnny on the cheek.

 

Snowbell ran out of the room and disappeared, Winston curled into a ball and went to sleep.

 

"Looks like Snowbell will have some babies," Dallas sat by Johnny. 

 

"Hey, she'll have cute little puffballs!" Two-Bit said, excited.

 

"At least kittens are cute.." Johnny muttered and sighed. 

 

-About Two Months Later-

 

It was late at night when Johnny heard a strange noise. He sat up in bed and sat silent for a moment, he heard the noise again.

 

"What is that?" Dallas asked, tiredly and Johnny shrugged.

 

"Kinda sounds like Snowbell.." Johnny said, worryingly and slid out of bed.

 

"Are you sure?" Dallas asked and began to get out of bed with Johnny.

 

"I'm sure...I hope she's okay.." Johnny muttered and followed where he heard the noises from.

 

Johnny and Dallas creeped into the living room, they heard a mewing noise but it was louder this time. Johnny walked to the corner of the living room where Snowbell's bed was and saw her...and a couple of new additions. The kittens mewled and crawled up to Snowbell's belly. Winston was patiently sitting by Snowbell, he was licking Snowbell. 

 

"Is she done?" Dallas asked and Johnny shook his head.

 

"No, she's still pushing.." Johnny muttered and began to walk back to the bedroom.

 

"Where are you going?" Dallas asked and looked back at Johnny.

 

"Cats don't like it when people watch them give birth, let's go back to bed and check when we wake up later." Johnny said and Dallas nodded.

 

. . . 

 

Johnny was awake and was kneeling by Snowbell and her babies, softly running his fingers over the warm, small, kittens. 

 

Two-Bit stumbled into the living room and noticed Johnny.

 

"Hey, what are you doing?" Two-Bit asked and yawned.

 

"Snowbell had her babies." Johnny responded and Two-Bit made his way over to Johnny.

 

"Aww, they're so adorable!" Two-Bit said and knelt down by Johnny.

 

"They're all puffy," Two-Bit counted the kittens, "she had five?"

 

"Yep..she had five babies.." Johnny muttered and softly pet Snowbell.

 

"I told you the kittens would be worth it." Two-Bit said with a smile and kissed Johnny softly.

 

Johnny chuckled, "I figured they would be." 

 

 

"So, can Winston stay?" Two-Bit asked.

 

Johnny nodded, "We might have to get Winston and Snowbell fixed, but that won't be a big deal."

 

Johnny was perfectly content with the kittens, there were three black, little, puffballs and two white, little, puffballs. He loved and adored the little beans of cuteness and always will love them.


	10. Horrible Side Affect; Part 1

Part 10: Horrible Side Effect, Part 1

Johnny hadn't felt well recently and decided to go to the hospital to get checked out. He was waiting for the doctor to give him the medicine he needed so he could leave and go home. He stared down at his black converses, he swung his legs back and forth. He heard the door open and he looked up, seeing the doctor step in.

"Okay, Johnny, I got the prescription ordered and all you have to do is go get it." The doctor said with a smile and Johnny jumped off the bed.

"There's a few side effects though..." The doctor muttered and Johnny stopped in his tracks.

"What side affects?" Johnny asked, concerned.

"The typical stuff, drowsiness and dry mouth.." The doctor said.

Johnny sighed but the doctor continued.

"and spontaneous orgasms..?" The doctor said, confused.

Johnny looked at the doctor like she was insane, the doctor shrugged.

"Must be a typo, but be weary of that.." The doctor muttered.

Johnny nodded and walked out of the room, going to pick up his medicine.

. . . 

Johnny had arrived back home and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He reached into the paper bag with his medicine inside and pulled it out, looking at the label while he filled his cup. He placed his glass on the counter and turned off the water. He opened the bottle and poured out one pill like the directions said. He placed the pill on his tongue and took a drink of water, swallowing the pill. Pouring out the water, he thought of the side effects, specifically the spontaneous orgasms one. He figured it was a huge joke so he shrugged it off as nothing. He noticed Dallas walk into the kitchen and looked into one of the cupboards. 

"We need to go shopping, Johnny." Dallas muttered and closed the cupboards.

"Alright, is Keith awake?" Johnny asked.

Dallas sniggered, "barely, he's rarely awake."

"True, I'm going to tell him to get ready," Johnny walked out of the kitchen and entered the bedroom.

Two-Bit was laying on the bed, face down. Johnny shook the redhead to wake him.

"Keith, wake up, we have to go to the store." Johnny muttered and Two-Bit groaned.

"Do I have to go?" Two-Bit groaned and Johnny sighed.

"Yes, you have to, I don't trust you to stay here alone."

"I'm not five, Johnny!" Two-Bit exclaimed and rolled off the bed onto the floor.

"Whatever, get your shoes on and let's go," Johnny stated and began to walk out.

"Can I drive?" Two-Bit asked.

Johnny looked at Two-Bit only to see him giving him puppy eyes, the tan boy sighed.

"I guess but don't kill me and Dallas.." Johnny muttered and walked out.

. . .

Two-Bit violently pulled into the parking lot, causing Dallas to slam into the front car door and Johnny to near about fly out of his seat belt.

"Jesus, Keith, are you trying to kill us?" Dallas yelled as he fixed himself in his seat.

"No, I'm trying to tenderize you guys!" Two-Bit exclaimed and quickly pulled into an empty parking spot.

"Dallas, you're driving home, I hope you brought your wallet," Johnny muttered and unbuckled himself.

"Hey! I don't drive that bad!" Two-Bit defended.

"You crossed into the other lane at least fifty different times!" Dallas said while unbuckling himself.

"Oh, you're not supposed to do that?" Two-Bit asked.

"Exactly my point now get out," Johnny opened the car door and stepped out.

Dallas followed and the two waited for Two-Bit to get out of the car. Two-Bit crawled out of the car and lazily walked over to Dallas and Johnny.

"I hate people." Two-Bit stated and glared at the small store.

"You haven't even interacted with any.." Johnny muttered.

"Don't have to, I've dealt with them enough," Two-Bit walked toward the store with Dallas and Johnny following.

"Is that why you don't have a job yet?" Johnny sneered and Two-Bit glared at him.

"Maybe it is.." Two-Bit muttered as they stepped through the automatic doors.

"Whatever, let's just get what we need and get out, I don't like people at these kinds of places," Johnny grabbed a basket and pushed it at Dallas.

"Then why do you work at a place like this?" Two-Bit remarked, Johnny glared at him.

"Because I make money, now shush." Johnny retorted and Dallas began pushing the cart while Johnny walked in front.

Johnny felt a weird,tingly feeling in his stomach but brushed it off. He noticed that the side effects were quite real, especially the dry mouth. He began to pull things off the shelves and placing it in the basket, the feeling in his stomach got worse. It didn't hurt, it felt rather nice to him...too nice. He furrowed his brow into confusion as it became worse and worse, almost to an unbearable point. He looked back at Dallas and Two-Bit, both noticing the look on his face.

"Johnny, are you okay?" Two-Bit asked, slowly approaching Johnny.

Johnny shook his head and then let out a rather...sexual noise. Two-Bit was shocked to hear Johnny make such a noise, especially in public. Two-Bit stood confused as Johnny slowly fell to his knees, moaning softly into his hand.

"J-Johnny, what are you doing?!" Dallas exclaimed and stared at Johnny.

"I-I'm having an-an orgasm!" Johnny cried and groaned loudly.

"Does the sight of food make you that happy?" Two-Bit asked and Johnny glared at him.

"No! It's those damn pills I got today!" Johnny groaned and buried his face into his arm, his free hand grasping the crotch of his pants.

People would occasionally walk by and stare at Johnny, he wanted to cry but his orgasm wouldn't allow him to shed a single tear.

"D-Dallyyy, help mee!" Johnny moaned and Dallas sniggered.

"Stop talking Johnny, you're gonna turn me on then turn Two-Bit on and then everything becomes even more awkward." Dallas muttered.

"Make it stop!" Johnny yelled and took his hand away from his crotch, exposing a huge wet spot.

"Oh my God, it looks like you peed yourself!" Two-Bit cried and fell onto the floor laughing.

"Shut up!" Johnny moaned and whimpered.

"Has that one not finished yet?" Dallas asked.

"A-Almost.." Johnny panted.

Johnny slowly uncurled from the ball he was in and laid out on the floor, the orgasm was finished. He panted lightly while staring up at the ceiling, looking at the tiles and lights. Two-Bit had regained his composer and went to help Johnny stand up.

"Come on, we'll take what we got now and come back some other time," Two-Bit extended his hand.

Johnny used the hand that wasn't soaked to grab Two-Bit's hand, Two-Bit pulled the frail boy up and caught him so he didn't hit the tile. Johnny pulled off his jacket and held it infront of his crotch, he knew he would have to throw out these jeans. He wiped his soaked hand on his jeans, just wanting to get out of the store. As Two-Bit and Dallas payed for everything, Johnny was sitting on the bench by the automatic doors. He felt the feeling return into his stomach and he whimpered, running toward Dallas and Two-Bit.

"Two-Bit, I'm gunna have another ep-" Johnny was cut off when he felt his mind leave him once more.

"Aahh!" Johnny screeched and fell to the floor once again, Two-Bit picked up Johnny.

"I'm taking him to the car," Two-Bit said to Dallas and began to walk to the doors.

Johnny squirmed heavily in Two-Bit's arms, moaning softly into the redhead's chest.

"Keeeith!" Johnny moaned and clawed at Two-Bit's chest.

"Johnny, stop it," Two-Bit muttered and Johnny moaned into his hand.

"Mwaaa.." Johnny moaned and kicked his legs.

Two-Bit began to giggle at Johnny, barely making it to the car.

"D-Don't laugh at me!" Johnny cried and grabbed at his own crotch.

"I can't help it, some of the noises you make are hilarious!" Two-Bit laughed and Johnny scowled at him.

"I'll get you and Dallas back for not helping me the first time!" Johnny yelled and Two-Bit unlocked the car doors.

"Yeah, yeah," Two-Bit threw Johnny into the backseat, "good luck with that," Two-Bit muttered before slamming the car door.

Johnny growled and thought of a lot of different ways he could get them back. Two-Bit opened the passenger door and plopped into the seat and slammed the door shut, waiting for Dallas.

. . .

All three arrived back to their appartment and Johnny ran into the apartment when Dallas got it unlocked. He made his way to the bedroom and ripped off his ruined jeans and underwear. He placed his hand on the crotch of the underwear just to feel the stickiness of his own liquid. He blushes and changes his underwear and pants.

"I swear, you guys are jerks!" Johnny yelled while walking into the small kitchen.

"How so?" Dallas asked, sarcastically.

"I had a full blown orgasm on the floor of a grocery and you guys were making fun of me!" Johnny exclaimed and placed his hands on his hips.

"And? We can't help we found it funny," Two-Bit said and helped Dallas put the groceries away.

Johnny stomped off into the bedroom and began to think of a plan

of revenge, smiling slyly when he figured the beginning of a wonderful plan.

 

(Continued in part 2)

A/N: This part is in two parts, as a special that this reached ten whole parts! That's so awesome!


	11. Johnny's Revenge; Part 2

Part 11: Johnny's Revenge, Part 2

Johnny was sitting on the couch by Dallas when he decided to put his plan in motion. He looked over at the love seat and saw Two-Bit lazily sitting on the seat, his eyes glued to the television. He put his eyes on the blond next to him and noticed he was intently watching the television as well.

"Soo...are you guys thirsty?" Johnny asked, hoping to get their attention.

He looked between the two and noticed they were both nodding but not taking their eyes off the television.

"Okay, I'll be right back," Johnny jumped off the couch and made his way into the small kitchen.

Johnny made sure they couldn't see him move around the kitchen, luckily enough they were too zoned in to the television. He grabbed two sodas from the fridge and placed them on the counter, pulling his bottle of pills from their hiding spot. He poured out two of the pills onto the counter, closing the bottle and using it to crush the pills into dust. He opened the two cans of soda and pinched the dust into the cans, smiling to himself. He picked up the cans and walked back into the living room, handing Two-Bit his can and handed Dallas his. He sat by Dallas once again and looked between the two, holding back his laugh when he saw them taking drinks.

. . .

Johnny waited until his lovers were done with their drinks when he got up to get dressed to go to the store. He walked back into the room,

"Hey guys, we gotta go to the store!" Johnny said and Dallas looked over at him.

"Do we really?" Dallas asked, sarcastically.

"Get ready, I'll be waiting right here," Johnny plopped down onto the couch and swung his keys around his finger.

Two-Bit groaned and stood, stumbling down the hallway to the bedroom, Dallas stood and followed the redhead. After a few moments the pair came back out and Johnny stood.

"You guys ready now?" Johnny asked while opening the door then locking it.

Dallas and Two-Bit walked out of the apartment and stepped down the stairs, Johnny followed behind. Johnny unlocked the car and climbed into the driver's seat, Dallas took the front seat.

"Jackass, I wanted the front seat!" Two-Bit exclaimed and plopped onto the backseat, slamming his car door.

"Shut it, Keith, you should've called shotgun," Dallas closed his car door.

"You didn't call it either!" Two-Bit whined like the Two-Bitch he is.

"Keith, shut it, you know Dallas always get's the front seat anyway!" Johnny retorted and started the car.

Two-Bit crossed his arms and slumped in his seat, mumbling to himself. Johnny looked at the redhead through the rear view mirror,

"Put your seatbelt on," Johnny requested.

Two-Bit groaned and grabbed his seat belt, sliding it on and clicking the belt.

. . .

Johnny parked the car in front of the small store and turned it off. Two-Bit unbuckled himself and kicked open his door, falling out of the car..literally. Dallas looked down at Two-Bit, confused.

"Keith, what are you doing?" Dallas asked.

"I hate people!" Two-Bit grumbled and stood up.

"Stop being a baby and let's go," Johnny muttered and began walking toward the store.

Johnny grabbed a cart and pushed it toward Dallas, expecting his plan to push into motion any moment now. He already noticed Two-Bit making weird body movements as he walked beside him down one of the aisles. Dallas glanced at Johnny and scowled when he noticed Johnny had a smirk on his face.

"J-Johnny, what did you do to our soda's?" Dallas asked and covered his crotch.

"I spiked them with my pills as revenge!" Johnny exclaimed happily and Two-Bit whimpered.

"That's not nice!" Two-Bit cried and fell to the floor.

Dallas moaned loudly and fell onto the floor, rolling around. Johnny began to laugh really hard at the two, Two-Bit was groaning loudly and slowly crawled toward Dallas. 

"Why did we have to laugh, Dallas?" Two-Bit moaned while cuddled up to Dallas.

"We fucked up Two, we fucked up bad," Dallas squirmed on the floor.

Johnny stood triumphantly, watching the pair flip out on the tile floor. People would occasionally walk by and stare at Dallas and Two-Bit, some even sniggering.

Dallas uncurled from the ball he was in and stared at the ceiling, panting light while Two-Bit slowly followed.

"Is it over..?" Two-Bit asked, softly and looked over at Dallas.

"Remember Johnny had two?" Dallas answered and gulped.

"Oh yeah..." Two-Bit muttered and then felt a familiar tingle in the pit of his stomach.

"Oh God, not again!" Two-Bit screamed and felt his mind escape him.

"No, not again" Dallas yelled and moaned loudly into his hand.

Johnny was smiling like an idiot at what he had done, no guilt was showing.

"J-Johnnyy, help me!" Dallas begged and Johnny scoffed.

"You didn't help me so why should I help you?" Johnny asked and Two-Bit buried his face into his arm, muffling his screaming.

"I think you're enjoying it too much, Two-Bit," Johnny nudged Two-Bit with his foot,

"He always screams when he has an orgasm!" Dallas moaned and groaned once again into his hand.

"Why didn't he earlier?" Johnny asked

"I was caught off guard!" Two-Bit yelled.

"So, you're basically saying you willingly scream while having an orgasm?" Johnny asked and Two-Bit giggled through his noises.

Dallas once again uncurled from the ball he was in, panting while trying to stand up. Two-Bit looked up at Dallas,

"Help me stand up!" Two-Bit demanded.

"You can pick yourself up, you love handle!" Dallas exclaimed. 

"Love handle?!"Two-Bit yelled and stood up, stomping toward Dallas.

"I am not a love handle!" Two-Bit exclaimed and pushed Dallas.

"Rude!" Dallas said and pushed Two-Bit back.

Dallas fell onto the floor, the familiar tingle in his stomach returned. 

"O-Oh God!" Dallas screamed and squirmed on the floor.

Johnny felt scared, he had only two and Dallas is having a third one. He looked over at Two-Bit to see if he was going to have another episode too. Two-Bit was pointing down at the blond, laughing when he felt the same feeling return.

"Shit.." Two-Bit mumbled and collapsed onto the floor.

Johnny looked at the two on the floor, now nervous that he had made a horrible mistake. He tried to help Dallas stand up but to no avail.

"Guys, we need to get you out of here, I have no idea if this is healthy!" Johnny exclaimed and Dallas laughed.

"Not healthy? Me and Two-Bit have an average of three orgasms when you're at work!" Dallas laughed.

Johnny scrunched his face up and sighed.

"We still need to get you guys out of here before someone calls the police on us," Johnny muttered and tried to help Two-Bit stand up.

"G-Give us a moment and we'll be okay." Two-Bit muttered and groaned.

"O-Okay.." Johnny whimpered, feeling bad for what he did now.

A few moments passed when Two-Bit and Dallas could stand up again, Johnny helped them back out to the car.

"Are you guys okay?" Johnny asked while buckling himself in.

"We'll be fine, Johnnycakes," Dallas said while closing his car door. 

Two-Bit slowly crawled into the car and closed his door, lying down in the seat. Johnny didn't object considering Two-Bit was probably really tired.

"J-Johnny, did you put extra dust in mine?" Two-Bit asked.

"I don't think so," Johnny paused and turned to look at Two-Bit, "please tell me you're not-"

"I'm having a fourth one!" Two-Bit yelled and kicked his legs.

"Oh Jesus, I need to take you to the hospital!" Johnny exclaimed and quickly drove out of the parking lot.

"No, I don't need to go the hospital!" Two-Bit whined.

"Listen here, Keith, I am taking you to the God damn hospital weather you like it or not!" Johnny yelled in panic and tried to find his way to the hospital.

"Damn, Johnny, are you okay?" Dallas and Johnny shot him an angry glare.

"No, Dallas, I am not! I caused Two-Bit to have four orgasms! It was a joke, Dal! A joke!" Johnny screamed and felt a tear roll down his face.

"Johnny, it's really okay, I promise." Two-Bit said and groaned loudly.

"R-Really?" Johnny squeaked and Two-Bit laughed.

"Yes really."Two-Bit said with a soft smile.

Johnny let out a sigh of relief and slowed down his driving, still finding his way to the closest hospital.

"G-Guys, I think I've gone over well over four!" Two-Bit muttered.

"How many have you had?" Dallas asked and turned to look at the redhead.

"I think about seven now."

"In this short amount of time?" Dallas said, shocked.

Two-Bit nodded while letting out a cry of pain.

"It's starting to hurt!" Two-Bit screamed and let a tear escape down his cheek.

"It's okay; I'm here at the hospital!" Johnny exclaimed.

. . .

Two-Bit had his orgasm problem fixed and was set to leave after an hour in the E.R. Johnny wouldn't stop apologizing about what he did to him but the redhead brushed them off.

"Johnny, it's okay, really.." Two-Bit muttered.

"I caused you to have twelve orgasms...twelve of them." Johnny stated while driving home.

"You know, let's go see the Curtis's. It's been awhile since we've seen them!" Two-Bit exclaimed and Johnny sighed.

"Okay, fine." Johnny muttered and made his way to the Curtis household.

Johnny pulled up at the Curtis house and turned off the car. Two-Bit was the first to climb out of the car. The hospital had given Two-Bit a pair of sweatpants to wear, he made sure to grab his soaked pants before running up to the front door.

"I've got some stories to tell!" Two-Bit yelled while pulling open the screen door.

Johnny and Dallas followed behind, the blond caught the screen door and front door before they were slammed shut. Darry looked up from his newspaper to look at Two-Bit, noticing the pants in his hand.

"Keith, what is t-" Darry was cut off when Two-Bit threw the pants into Darry's face.

"It's my pants!" Two-Bit said, happily.

"W-What's on them?" Darry stuttered and held the jeans in his hand.

"My cum," Two-Bit smiled at Darry.

Darry retched loudly and stood quickly, running down the hallway to the bathroom.

Sodapop walked in and looked at Johnny in confusion, "what was th-"

"Just don't even ask, Soda..." Johnny muttered and sat on the couch by Ponyboy.

 

"Okay.." Soda said, not really wanting to know what happened.

 

A/N: despite having a slight brain fart while writing this that caused me to stop in the middle, I somehow finished! I'm sorry if it's not good, I've been kinda messed up mentally recently.


	12. Pretty Dallas, Pretty Kitty

Part 12: Pretty Dallas, Pretty Kitty

Two-Bit was sitting on the couch by Dallas, he was watching TV when an idea popped into his head. He smiled and looked over at Dallas, the blond looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Dallas asked.

"Do you think Johnny would be mad if I put makeup on his cat?" Two-Bit asked.

Dallas looked at Two-Bit like he had lost his mind and sighed heavily, he didn't like it when Two-Bit wanted to do something stupid.

"I don't know, if you do it you better hope it'll wash off." Dallas warned.

"Okay, I'm going to go get my make-up," Two-Bit smiled.

Dallas sat still for a moment, he wondered where he got make-up from and why he had it. The blond stared at Two-Bit and Two-Bit felt confused.

"What is it?" Two-Bit asked.

"....Why do you have make-up..?" Dallas asked, weary of the redhead's answer.

Two-Bit scoffed and rolled his eyes, "can a man not feel pretty if he wants to?"

"I didn't know you had make-up." Dallas muttered.

"I used to dress in drag." Two-Bit said and giggled.

Dallas opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it, out of all the things he knew about Two-Bit, he didn't know this.

"Drag..?" Dallas asked.

"Yep, I went through this weird phase where I loved to wear dresses and put on make-up." Two-Bit said happily.

"Where did you learn to put makeup on?" Dallas questioned.

"Well, when you grow up with two girls, you notice things they do. Make-up, the way they dress and stuff." Two-Bit explained.

Dallas nodded along with what Two-Bit was saying, trying to act like he understood.

"Where did you get the make-up?" Dallas asked.

"I stole most of it." Two-Bit admitted.

Dallas rolled his eyes, "typical."

"I almost got caught. Let's just say, don't try to rob a place while in full drag and you have high heels on." Two-Bit said nonchalantly.

Dallas tried to picture Two-Bit wearing a dress and heels and almost suffocated from laughing. Two-Bit looked at Dallas angrily and punched him in the arm.

"Ow, you douche, what was that for?" Dallas asked and stuck his bottom lip out.

"I'm going to make you dress in drag." Two-Bit said with a smirk.

Dallas quickly shook his head, "no, no I'm good with dressing like a guy." the blond said while scooting away from Two-Bit.

Two-Bit only got closer to Dallas, he was now on top of Dallas and the blond squirmed around.

"T-Two-Bit, I'm sorry I insulted you!" Dallas desperately apologized but Two-Bit wasn't having it.

"Nope, I'm going to dress you in drag." Two-Bit said with a smirk.

Dallas gulped and wondered what Two-Bit would do to him. He had never worn make-up or a dress before, he was quite worried about this situation he was in. Two-Bit helped Dallas stand up and the pair walked into the bedroom. The redhead motioned for Dallas to sit on the bed and so he did. The blond waited and watched Two-Bit rummage through some boxes in the closet. Two-Bit pulled out a tiny box and walked to the bed, he sat the box down by Dallas and sat in front of the blond.

Dallas pointed at the box, "is that your make-up?"

Two-Bit nodded, "all two hundred dollars worth." He said with a smile.

"Two hundred?!" Dallas exclaimed and Two-Bit nodded.

"Being pretty is expensive but I didn't have to pay." Two-Bit muttered as he opened the box and pulled out his make-up.

Dallas looked at the make-up and was surprised Two-Bit had so much of it. Two-Bit looked at one color of eyeshadow and shook his head, he threw the compact back into the box.

"What are you doing?" Dallas asked.

"Looking for a color that would look good on you.." Two-Bit murmured

Two-Bit pulled out red eyeshadow and smiled, "you look good in red."

"Red makes me look fat.." Dallas muttered.

"Well, you're just going to have to feel fat." Two-Bit said as he pulled out a brush.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me." Dallas said as Two-Bit opened the compact and got some eyeshadow on the brush.

"Whatever, close your eyes." Two-Bit said as he moved his hand close to Dallas's face.

. . .

"OW!" Dallas yelled as Two-Bit once again poked him in the eye with the eyeliner pencil.

"I told you not to move your eyes or blink and look what you're doing!" Two-Bit scolded and sighed, "you're lucky I'm finished anyway."

"What's next?" Dallas asked, worryingly.

"Now I put on lipstick." Two-Bit said excitedly as he pulled out some red lipstick.

"What if I lick it off on accident..?" Dallas asked.

"You're not supposed to eat it, idiot." Two-Bit said.

"I wasn't going to!" Dallas yelled.

"Suuure." Two-Bit said as he opened the lipstick.

Two-Bit pressed the lipstick to Dallas' bottom lip and went from the right corner to the left. He pulled the lipstick away and smiled.

"Rub your lips together." Two-Bit ordered.

Dallas rubbed his lips together and Two-Bit wiped off excess lipstick.

"You have thick lips for a white person." Two-Bit commented.

"Isn't that racist..?" Dallas asked.

"Nah fam." Two-Bit said as he put the lipstick back into the box.

"What now?" Dallas questioned.

"Blush..well, I don't think you need it." Two-Bit muttered.

"Why?" Dallas asked.

"Your cheeks are always rosie." Two-Bit said.

"....Shut up.." Dallas murmured and looked down.

"Now, I get to dress you!" Two-Bit exclaimed.

"You seem excited about that..." Dallas said worryingly.

"I am." Two-Bit said with a smirk.

. . .

"That's too tight, Keith!" Dallas exclaimed.

"Corsets are supposed to be tight, genius." Two-Bit said sarcastically

"W-Why are you making get into one of these?!" Dallas exclaimed and gasped as Two-Bit tightened the corset even more.

Two-Bit shrugged, "I never got to use it on myself."

"So I'm just a crash test dummy to you?!" Dallas yelled.

Two-Bit tied the strings and let go of them, "no, you're just like a real Barbie doll!"

"Just because I have blond hair and blue eyes does not make me a Barbie doll!" Dallas said while crossing his arms over his chest.

"The only other thing I can say is that you match the perfect race Hitler wanted." Two-Bit said as he was digging in the closet.

Dallas's mouth was agape as he looked at at the redhead.

"I rather be a Barbie doll.." Dallas muttered.

Two-Bit pulled out a long, red dress and threw it at Dallas.

"Put that on." Two-Bit requested.

"Why do you think I know how dresses work?" Dallas asked.

Two-Bit rolled his eyes and sighed, "you step into it and then pull it up."

Dallas had trouble slipping into the dress and Two-Bit eventually had to help. Dallas leaned against Two-Bit's chest and the redhead helped Dallas slip his arms into the tight, see-through, long sleeves.

"This is embarrassing.." Dallas mumbled and stared down at the long skirt, there was a thigh high slit on it.

"No, you look beautiful." Two-Bit cooed.

"I feel like an idiot." Dallas grumbled and crossed his arms, he noticed it was pretty hard to move his arms in the dress.

"You'll look even better with the heels." Two-Bit said and dug around the closet some more.

"There is no way I am wearing heels!" Dallas exclaimed.

"Too bad!" Two-Bit yelled back.

Two-Bit grabbed the red heels and began walking to Dallas, the blond was backing away from the redhead.

"No, you're not making me wear those." Dallas stated then he backed into a wall.

"You're going to wear these heels." Two-Bit said, sounding determined.

"Make me." Dallas growled.

Two-Bit tackled Dallas to the floor and sat on the blond. Dallas was squirming around and screaming.

"Help! Help!" Dallas yelled and tried to kick Two-Bit.

Two-Bit eventually got the shoes onto Dallas and helped the defeated blond stand up.

"Gee, I have to look up at you now." Two-Bit muttered as he stared up at Dallas.

"I'm going to fall." Dallas said as he tried to walk.

"walk on your tippy toes, that helped me learn." Two-Bit said and Dallas did as he was told.

"I still feel like an idiot." Dallas muttered.

"Nah, go sit in the living room. I have to put make-up on Snowbell now." Two-Bit said with a smile.

Dallas rolled his eyes and stumbled to the living room, he occasionally tripped on his own feet.

"Stupid Keith and his make-up.." Dallas mumbled and swore under his breath.

Two-Bit walked to Snowbell's bed and took her away from her two week old babies. The kittens mewed loudly and Snowbell squirmed in Two-Bit's arms. Snowbell meowed loudly as Two-Bit carried her off to the bedroom.

. . .

Snowbell ran into the living room and Dallas stared at her.

"Poor baby." Dallas murmured as Snowbell slowly walked to him and mewed.

She had blush on the sides of her face and lipstick around her mouth. She mewed desperately at Dallas and the blond picked her up and sat on the couch, he sat her on his lap.

"He got me too." Dallas cooed and slowly pet Snowbell.

She purred and closed her eyes, Dallas saw the blue blush above her eyes...and eyeliner around her eyes, not quite on her eyelids.

"This makeup is definitely animal tested now." Dallas said and sighed heavily.

. . .

Johnny was tiredly walking up the stairs, he had had a rough day at work and just wanted to go to bed. He stumbled up to the door and tried the door, it was open. He pushed it open and stepped inside, he scanned the room and first noticed Two-Bit on the floor.

"Keith, what are you doing?" Johnny asked while closing and locking the door behind him.

"Shh, I'm sleeping.." Two-Bit slurred and giggled.

"Whatever." Johnny said and noticed something red in the corner of his eye.

He turned his head and instantly saw Dallas sitting on the couch. His eyes were wide as he slowly moved his eyes down to Dallas's lap and saw Snowbell. He coughed and looked down to Dallas's feet and saw the red heels.

"What in the world are you guys smoking?" Johnny asked in shock.

"Ask Two-Bit, he's the one that forced me into all this and did this to Snowbell." Dallas said and crossed his arms.

"W-Wha, Dallas don't even be mean." Two-Bit mumbled and rolled around on the floor.

"I didn't understand any of that, Keith, now you are giving my cat a bath." Johnny ordered and Two-Bit groaned.

"But Johnny!" Two-Bit whined like a Two-Bitch and sat up on his knees.

"Nope, I'm not hearing any of your excuses. Give her a bath." Johnny demanded.

"But-"

"Now, Keith." Johnny growled and Two-Bit instantly went to get Snowbell off Dallas's lap.

Two-Bit walked off into the bathroom to give Snowbell her bath and Dallas slowly stood, he walked to Johnny.

"Are you okay?" Dallas asked.

Johnny had to look straight up just to even see the blond's face, he sighed.

"Take those off, Dallas." Johnny muttered and Dallas slipped the heels off and held them in his hand.

"You didn't answer my question." Dallas cooed and softly kissed Johnny on the forehead.

"I had a bad day today, I'll be alright." Johnny sighed and hugged Dallas.

Johnny sat still for a moment and ran his hands up and down Dallas's back.

"What are you wearing under this?" Johnny asked.

"A corset, Keith made me wear it." Dallas said and Johnny groaned.

"Do you need help getting it off?" Johnny questioned.

"and the make-up..I have no idea how to get this off." Dallas admitted.

Johnny sighed, "I'll help you." he said with a smile.

Dallas started to giggle and Johnny raised an eyebrow.

"What's so funny?" Johnny asked.

"When I kissed you on the forehead, I left lip marks on it." Dallas giggled and covered his mouth.

Johnny snickered, "I'll get it off later."

. . .

Johnny helped Dallas climb out of the corset Two-Bit had forced him in and Dallas could finally breath again. Johnny laughed and helped Dallas wipe the make-up off with a wet wash rag.

"It hurts when you scrub." Dallas muttered.

"Sorry but this eyeliner isn't coming off." Johnny said and tried to be gentle.

"Just forget it, it'll come off on it's own at some point." Dallas said and Two-Bit walked into the room.

"That hurt like a bitch!" Two-Bit yelled and walked to the bed.

"Don't do that to Snowbell and you wouldn't have to give her baths." Johnny retorted and Two-Bit groaned as he pulled off his shoes.

"I'm going to sleep." Two-Bit said and flopped down onto the bed, he was out like a light.

Johnny yawned, "I'm so tired."

"let's get to bed." Dallas said with a smile and Johnny nodded in agreement.

Johnny pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes, he didn't bother to change his pants. He crawled under the blanket with Dallas and the blond instantly tried to molest him.

"Dallas, I'm tired." Johnny yawned.

"Please, just a quick one." Dallas begged and Johnny sighed heavily.

"Fine but it's not my fault if Two-Bit wakes up." Johnny said and glanced over at the redhead.

"Alright." Dallas said with a smirk and deeply kissed Johnny.

A couple minutes into Dallas and Johnny's love fest, Two-Bit woke up. He groaned and heard loud familiar noises, he slowly turned his head.

"Oh God! Why right beside me?!" Two-Bit exclaimed but neither of the two answered him, they were both too distracted by each other to care.

Two-Bit groaned and stood up, he lazily walked into the living room. He could still faintly hear Johnny but he didn't care, just as long as the noises weren't right in his ear. He collapsed onto the couch and instantly fell back asleep.

The next day, Two-Bit woke up on the floor and looked around in a daze.

"What the..." he mumbled and slowly stood.

He looked at his arms and saw the many scratches Snowbell had given him last night.He groaned and stood up. He walked to the bedroom and saw Johnny snuggled up into a ball in Dallas's arms. He scrunched his face up when he remembered what the two were doing right beside him while he was trying to sleep. Two-Bit grabbed a throw pillow that was on the floor and slapped Dallas with it. Dallas jolted awake and looked at Two-Bit drowsily.

"What in the world, Keith?" Dallas mumbled tiredly.

"That's what you get for having sex right next to me and don't even bother to invite me in!" Two-Bit yelled and hit the blond with the pillow again.

"You know Johnny doesn't like that that much and I hadn't been able to be romantic with him for a week because you insist you hog my di-"

"Both of you shut it!" Johnny ordered and sighed.

"What? He has been hogging my di-"

"You know I don't have a high sex drive so I don't care." Johnny said and sat up.

"Why didn't you invite me in?" Two-Bit whined.

"I don't really like the sexual threesome thing, Two-Bit. Only on special occasions." Johnny said.

"You mean like Christmas?" Dallas asked.

"Mm, commitin' sins on Christ's birthday." Two-Bit said sarcastically.

Johnny snicked, "yes, like Christmas." he said softly.

"...I'm hungry..." Two-Bit whispered.

"Let me wake up more and I'll do something." Johnny said and crawled out of bed.

Two-Bit smiled and walked out of the room, Dallas sighed.

"Two-Bit can be a pretty big baby when he wants to be." Dallas said.

"Yeah but he's our baby." Johnny said with a smile.

A/N: The real question is: what am I smoking? I think this is my favorite part so far to be honest. I hope you enjoyed! :)

No animals were harmed in the making of this part. Except when one of my cats jumped onto my keyboard and I had to calmly put her on the floor...okay, I accidently dropped her onto the floor. Don't worry, I apologized and gave her multiple kisses.


	13. Part 13: Table Manners, Dusting, and Eyebrows

_Part 13: Table Manners, Dusting and Eyebrows_

Johnny has noticed recently how Two-Bit and Dallas act at the table. They usually used their coffee table as a dining table because they didn't have room for an entire table in their tiny apartment. He thought Two-Bit's manners were especially atrocious because he didn't even drink from a cup properly, most of it would end up on the floor instead of in his mouth. Dallas didn't sit up straight at the table and would slouch, almost in a painful looking manner. Johnny sighed heavily, thinking it was somewhat funny that he had proper manners and he had no parents to really teach him. He couldn't really blame Dallas, he never had a proper upbringing but Two-Bit didn't have many excuses to pull. The redhead's mother did all she could to raise Two-Bit properly it was just the fact he didn't like to have rules put over his head. The raven haired boy was sitting on the couch when he decided to tell them he would be their teacher for manners, he looked to both older men.

"You know what? I'm going to teach you two proper table manners." Johnny said with a soft smile and the only response he got was loud annoyed groaning.

"Johnny, I already know my table manners!" Two-Bit whined and pouted.

Dallas didn't comment but Johnny could tell he was greatly annoyed by the way his eyebrows were arched at him. The raven haired boy shrugged it off and stepped from his seat.

"Two-Bit you don't know how to drink from a cup from properly." Johnny stated and Two-Bit huffed.

"I do to know how to drink from a cup!" Two-Bit retorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You don't even put your lips to the cup like you're supposed to, Keith." Johnny commented and crossed his arms as well.

"I think it's cool to just pour it in my mouth because it looks like a waterfall!" Two-Bit defended and Johnny facepalmed.

"You're lucky I'm even trying to teach you, I could just get some sippy cups and force you to use them so you won't make a mess." Johnny stated and smirked at the redhead.

"You're a meanie, Johnny." Two-Bit whined and huffed even more.

"I'm not being a meanie, I just don't want you guys to look like idiots." Johnny said.

"You're not going to say anything about Dallas? Ugh!" Two-Bit cried and fell to his knees on the floor.

"Dallas has a problem with slouching." Johnny said and Dallas punched Two-Bit in the arm when the redhead smirked at him.

"Well, I never learned table manners." Dallas admitted and Two-Bit giggled.

"You're an idiot, Dallas." Two-Bit sniggered and Dallas punched Two-Bit in the arm.

"Shut the Hell up, you fuck nut." Dallas retorted and Two-Bit glared at him.

Two-Bit slapped the blond on the arm and Dallas slapped Two-Bit back, soon they were in the middle of a sissy slap fight. Dallas and Two-Bit were squealing like little girls at each other and screaming when one of them hit too hard. Johnny sighed heavily and broke them up by getting in the middle of them, Two-Bit slapped Johnny against the head.

"Hey!" Johnny yelled and glared at Two-Bit.

"Sorry, Johnny.." Two-Bit apologized and pouted.

"I'm going to teach you guys those manners whether you want me to or not. We start tomorrow, be prepared." Johnny stated as sternly as he could and walked to the bedroom.

_. . ._

Two-Bit, Dallas and Johnny were all sitting on the floor at their coffee table. The redhead was resting his elbow on the table with his face resting in his hand. Johnny simply warmed up a can of tomato soup to use as food and Two-Bit scrunched his face up at his food.

"Johnny, I hate tomatos! Especially in soup form!" Two-Bit whined and groaned.

"Get over it, I didn't feel like actually cooking." Johnny said and sighed.

Dallas took a drink from the cup of water in front of him, Two-Bit looked at his cup of water. He groaned and pushed the cup away from him.

"I don't like water either!" Two-Bit cried.

"That probably explains why you get so sick sometimes." Johnny retorted and Two-Bit glared at him.

"Shut it." Two-Bit stated and rested his face in his hand once again.

Johnny rolled his eyes and looked over at Dallas, he noticed the blond was slouching heavily at the table. Johnny wondered how it was so hard to sit up straight at a table, he coughed to get the blond's attention.

"Dallas, you cannot slouch at the table." Johnny said and Dallas rolled his eyes and sighed in irritation.

"But Johnny, it hurts my back to sit up straight!" Dallas complained and Johnny was beginning to get annoyed by his lovers excuses.

"Deal with it, Dallas, now sit up." Johnny scolded and Dallas sat up and crossed his arms, he mumbled to himself.

Johnny looked back over to the redhead and noticed Two-Bit had his elbows on the table, he leaned over and poked the redhead.

"You can't have your elbows on the table." Johnny said and Two-Bit made a high pitched whining noise.

"Johnny!" Two-Bit complained and Johnny shushed him.

"No, Keith. Elbows, off the table, now." Johnny demanded but the redhead refused.

"But my neck gets tired and holding my head up helps!" Two-Bit cried.

"It probably gets tired from holding up that big head of yours all the time now, take your elbows off the table." Johnny demanded once again.

Two-Bit's mouth was agape at the insult Johnny had just thrown at him, he shut his mouth and put his hands on his lap. Dallas and Two-Bit pouted and stared down at the table, Johnny taped lightly on the table to get their attention. The couple looked over at Johnny and continued to pout, the shy boy didn't give in to them.

"Alright, now both of you take a drink from your glasses. I wanna see exactly how you guys do it." Johnny requested and the couple complained to themselves as they picked up their cups in unison.

Two-Bit poured the water into his mouth, his lips never touched the glass. Johnny stared at him, wondering how he did that but then noticed the water that trickled down the redhead's chin. Johnny then looked over at Dallas, seeing that the blond had no problems like Two-Bit did.

"You did good, Dally, you just need to grip your cup better." Johnny said and smiled.

The raven haired boy turned to the redhead with a frown, he noticed that the redhead was smiling like he had done something amazing.

"Two-Bit, you need to put your lips on the glass." Johnny stated and Two-Bit rolled his eyes.

"Come on! It looks like a waterfall and it's cool!" Two-Bit said and frowned at Johnny.

"I don't care, Keith. That is not how you drink from a cup. Do it properly this time and I swear if you can't, I will buy some sippy cups and you can use them for now on." Johnny said sternly and Two-Bit stared at Johnny.

"I'm not a baby!" Two-Bit defended.

"From how you drink, you are a baby." Johnny said with a soft smirk.

Two-Bit grumbled to himself and picked up his glass again, he put his lips to the cup and drank from it properly. He swallowed the water and put his cup down, he looked at Johnny for approval.

"Good job, Keith!" Johnny congratulated and Two-Bit smiled.

"Two-Bit, you're a moron. Who even drinks like that?" Dallas teased and Two-Bit glared at the blond.

Two-Bit picked up his silver spoon and quickly reached over the small table to hit Dallas on the side of the head with his spoon. Dallas sat still in stunned silence but then gave Two-Bit a pure angry look. The blond took another drink from his water but he kept the water in his mouth, Johnny watched him in confusion.

"Dal, what are-"

Dallas spit the water on Two-Bit from his side of the table, he smiled smartly at the redhead. Two-Bit stared at the blond for a moment, he felt surprised and disgusted at the same time.

"You guys need to stop!" Johnny complained but Two-Bit reached accross the table and got a fistful of Dallas's blond hair.

Dallas gave Two-Bit a warning stare, the redhead ignored the warning look in his eyes.

"Don't you dare!" Dallas warned but the redhead pulled his hair really hard anyway.

Dallas stared at Two-Bit with his mouth agape, he growled and grabbed a fistful of his lovers hair and pulled harder than Two-Bit had before. Two-Bit groaned in pain and pulled Dallas' even harder, the blond instantly returned the favor. Johnny sat and watched the couple simply pull each others hair, each time pulling harder and harder.

"I'm gonna lose my hair! Stop!" Dallas yelled.

"I'm not stoppin' until you stop!" Two-Bit yelled right back and continued to pull his hair.

"Both of you quit! You're gonna spill the food!" Johnny intervened and pushed them apart.

Dallas rubbed his head and squinted his eyes in pain, trying to make the redhead feel bad. Two-Bit stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms, refusing to ever feel bad about what he did.

"Johnny, Keith hurt me!" Dallas complained and Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Get over it, it's not like he doesn't pull your hair in bed." Johnny stated and Dallas sat in his quiet defeat.

Snowbell and Winston began to mew softly around the table, they smelled the soup. They were gratefully hungry even though Johnny had just fed them, Snowbell jumped onto the table first and made a beeline for Johnny's bowl.

"Snowbell, no! I just fed you." Johnny said as he grabbed Snowbell and placed her on the floor.

Snowbell simply meowed at Johnny, begging him for the food but he refused to give in to his cat.

"Quit it, Snowbell, you're not getting it." Johnny said sternly but then noticed Winston trying to steal from Two-Bit's bowl.

Two-Bit was practically wrestling with his cat over the food, he grabbed the black cat off the table and held him close to his chest.

"Ya think you can take my food like I ain't gonna care?" Two-Bit asked the cat and Winston mewed in desperation.

"Just put Winston down, Keith." Johnny ordered and Two-Bit shook his head.

"No, he tried to take my precious food!" Two-Bit whined.

"You said you didn't like tomato soup." Johnny reminded.

"So? It's still my food!" Two-Bit defended and wrestled with his cat more.

Johnny watched Two-Bit flip his cat upside down, pin the cat softly to the floor, and even pretended to body slam the cat. Johnny couldn't help but giggle at Two-Bit's wrestling, especially since it was with a cat over food. Two-Bit eventually got bored with Winston and let the cat go. Winston ran into the kitchen where he was far away from Two-Bit. Johnny stopped giggling and corrected his face back to being serious.

"Okay, now take a bite from your food." Johnny said and Two-Bit stared at his spoon like someone had stuck it in a pile of cow manure.

"I don't wanna use my spoon because it touched Dallas!" Two-Bit complained and Dallas chuckled.

"You've had my dick in your mouth multiple times before and you never complained." Dallas said with a soft smirk.

Two-Bit pursed his lips and mumbled to himself, he took his spoon and put it in his bowl. The redhead put the spoon in his mouth and he watched Dallas basically pour the soup into his mouth, his lips didn't even touch his spoon. Two-Bit began pointing at Dallas and Johnny looked over at Dallas and saw what the blond was doing. Johnny gave Dallas a look of disappointment and the blond raised an eyebrow as he laid his spoon down.

"What?" Dallas asked.

"You're supposed to put the spoon in your mouth, Dally." Johnny said softly.

"Yeah! What he said!" Two-Bit called out as he put his elbows back onto the table, the blond gave Two-Bit an angry look.

"You also have soup on your chin." Johnny said and pointed toward his pale chin.

Dallas wiped his chin off using his wrist and Johnny sighed.

"You're supposed to use a napkin to do that but we don't have any." Johnny said and saw Snowbell jump back onto the table.

"Snowbell, no," Johnny put the cat on the floor, "you do that again and I'll have to give you spankings." Johnny warned.

Snowbell simply mewed at Johnny and sat down beside her owner. Johnny took his attention off Snowbell and put it on Two-Bit, he saw that the redhead had his elbows on the table once again.

"Keith, I shouldn't have to tell you again but apparently you can't listen properly. Get your elbows off the table." Johnny demanded and Two-Bit rolled his eyes.

Two-Bit moved his arms put somehow forgot to catch his head, his head dropped and his face landed into his soup. Johnny jumped from the loud crash and noticed he had soup on his shirt now. He groaned and watched as Two-Bit slowly pulled his head up, the redhead stared ahead aimlessly and sat in shock about what just happened. Dallas could barely breathe from how hard he was laughing at the redhead, he fell over onto his side and continued his hysterics. Winston jumped onto the table and mewed at Two-Bit, he began to lick the soup off his owners face. Johnny felt like he wanted to cry, he tried so hard to try and teach his lovers something. Snowbell meowed at Johnny and jumped onto the table, she accidently put her foot into Johnny's soup but went to eat the soup anyway. Johnny quietly stood from the table and began to walk down the hallway.

"I am done, I am so done." Johnny softly said as he walked into the bedroom.

_. . ._

Johnny had gone to work and Dallas was out running errands for Johnny, Two-Bit was left alone with Winston and Snowbell, also with their kittens. Johnny told Two-Bit to dust the apartment as a way to keep the redhead too busy to do anything stupid or dangerous. Two-Bit went into the bedroom to try and find the feather duster Johnny had told him about earlier, it was no where to be found. He checked everywhere in the close. He wondered where it could be but eventually gave up because he just wanted to get the dusting over with. Two-Bit most likely could not find it due to him being heavily impaired because he was drunk, he wasn't thinking at all. He saw Snowbell sitting on the couch, taking a short nap. Two-Bit smiled drunkenly and walked over to the cat, he carefully picked her up.

"You're white and you'd make a perfect duster! It'll show off all the dust I cleaned up!" Two-Bit slurred and Snowbell mewed in a worried way.

"Come on, let's start with the coffee table! It gets pretty dusty underneath it." Two-Bit said as he stumbled over to the table.

Two-Bit put Snowbell on the bottom of the table and rubbed her against the table, she didn't know what to do except meow loudly in panic. The redhead merely shushed her as he used her as a duster, Snowbell was completely horrified. Two-Bit finished the table and moved to the TV stand, he rubbed her all over the stand.

When Two-Bit was finally done dusting, Snowbell was a soft brownish grey color. She mewed desperately so she could try and fix it, he put her down on the floor. Snowbell ran into the bathroom, actually wanting to take a bath for once. She tried to lick the dust off but all it did was get stuck in her mouth. She laid on the side of the tub and waited patiently for Johnny's return from his journey. Two-Bit on the other hand, decided to mess with Winston as well. He wanted to make him look like an oreo cookie so he went to find the flour, he couldn't find that either. He slightly remembered Johnny locked it in a small safe, Two-Bit chuckled and walked to the closet. He found the safe and began trying to unlock it, he got it open in no time. He found the flour and a couple of unimportant things. He slammed the door closed after he took the flour and he stood, he walked into the living room where Winston was cleaning himself. Two-Bit opened the flour and sprinkled it on the black cat, Winston jumped and sat still. He wondered what was happening but then it suddenly stopped, he heard Two-Bit laughing. Winston mewed at Two-Bit and the redhead fell to the floor from laughter.

"Look! My personal living oreo!" Two-Bit yelled and continued to howl with laughter.

Winston couldn't see what was on him but he jumped onto the love seat so he could take a nap. Two-Bit stood up and continued to giggle to himself, he walked into the kitchen to get something to snack on. Dallas arrived back home and entered the apartment, he instantly took notice of Winston being covered with flour. He simply stared at the napping cat for a moment, wondering what the Hell Two-Bit had done. He walked into the kitchen and saw Two-Bit with a potato chip bag over his head, making weird grunting noises. Dallas stared in confusion as he slowly approached Two-Bit, he lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

"WHO GOES THERE?!" Two-Bit screamed and tried to swat Dallas.

Dallas dodged the slap and glared at Two-Bit.

"It's me you idiot!" Dallas yelled and Two-Bit continued to make grunting noises.

"They stole my eyes, I can't see!" Two-Bit exclaimed and began using his hands to find his way around.

Dallas sniggered and took the bag off of Two-Bit's head, the redhead blinked and touched his face.

"My God,I can see again!" Two-Bit said happily and turned to Dallas.

"Thank ya weird pale man!" Two-Bit said and softly kissed Dallas.

Dallas blushed as Two-Bit's kisses got lower and lower then it reached the point of no return right in the middle of the kitchen.

_. . ._

Johnny arrived back home, completely exhausted from work. He had to deal with a near deaf old woman that couldn't understand that she couldn't return a half used bottle of syrup. He argued with her for two hours, he didn't know anyone could argue that long over syrup. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, only to be welcomed by very loud familiar noises. He sighed in annoyance and slowly stepped toward the sounds.

"IN THE KITCHEN? I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BURN THIS KITCHEN DOWN AND REBUILD JUST TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN HERE AGAIN!" Johnny screeched and covered his eyes.

Two-Bit and Dallas jumped and scrambled to find and put their clothes back on. They managed to get dressed in a matter of seconds but were met with Johnny's scowl.

"Why can you guys never make it to the bedroom? That is where sex is supposed to happen! This is where we keep our food." Johnny said and groaned as he grabbed the mop.

"Why are you going to mop for?" Two-Bit asked confused.

"There might be liquids on the floor that shouldn't be there in the first place." Johnny muttered and motioned for the couple to leave.

"I think Keith caught most of it with his mouth..." Dallas said.

"Dallas, I did not want to know what he caught it with. Leave so I mop." Johnny said and motioned once again for the couple to leave.

Johnny mopped up the kitchen and was exhausted already but then he walked into the living room. He noticed everything was pretty shiny and not dusty, he smiled. The smile was quickly replaced with a frown when he saw Snowbell walk into the room and mew at him. He saw Snowbell's fur was dirty, he looked over at Two-Bit and raised an eyebrow.

"Keith?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah?" Two-Bit questioned with a smile.

"Did you use my cat as a duster?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, I did." Two-Bit slurred.

"Give her a bath. Now." Johnny demanded and Two-Bit groaned.

"But she always scratches me!" Two-Bit whined.

"I don't care, you give her a bath now!" Johnny ordered and Two-Bit stood.

Johnny looked over at the love seat and saw Winston was sprinkled in flour. He buried his face into his hands and groaned in annoyance.

"Keith, give Winston a bath too!" Johnny yelled and Two-Bit walked over to pick up Dallas.

"W-What are you doing?!" Dallas asked and squirmed away from Two-Bit.

"He said give Winston a bath!" Two-Bit whined.

"Keith, you know what Winston I am talking about now go get the right one!" Johnny said and Two-Bit walked over to the flour sprinkled cat.

Winston mewed at Snowbell who was also in Two-Bit's arms and Snowbell mewed back. Two-Bit dreadfully walked to the bathroom to give the cats their baths.

Johnny plopped down next to Dallas on the couch and let out an elongated sigh. Dallas wrapped his arm around the younger boys waist and kissed him on the forehead.

"Hey, Johnnycakes, I got those errands done." Dallas whispered and Johnny sighed contently.

_(A/N: "Are you finished with those errands?"_

_-Spongebob Squarepants)_

"Good, those bills were almost late." Johnny said and yawned.

"What time is it?" Johnny asked and Dallas pulled out his phone.

"Around midnight now." Dallas said.

"Let's get to bed, Two-Bit can stay up as late as he wants." Johnny whispered and could barely stand up.

Dallas picked Johnny up into his arms and carried the tired boy into the bedroom. When the blond walked past the bathroom, he could slightly hear Two-Bit screaming and the cats hissing and growling. He snickered to himself and went into the bedroom.

_. . ._

Two-Bit finished giving the cats a bath and opened the door to release the felines. The two cats ran out at the speed of light as Two-Bit stepped out slowly, his arms were burning with pain. He had various bleeding scratches on his arms, he had the remains of tears on his cheeks. He was angry that Dallas got praised for doing what he did and thought it was stupid he got punished. He was still very drunk, he stumbled into the bedroom and stared at Johnny and Dallas for a moment. The redhead growled softly as he walked to the closet to get into his make-up, he needed revenge. He grabbed his box full of make-up and undid the latches, he looked inside. He grabbed his eyebrow pencil and smirked. He stood and made sure to turn out the light in the closet, he walked over to where Dallas was laying. The blond was facing the ceiling and was softly breathing, Two-Bit took the lid off the pencil.

"You think you can just be an actual functioning adult, don't you?" Two-Bit whispered and Dallas simply twitched his nose in his sleep.

Two-Bit put the pencil on the beginning of Dallas's white blond eyebrow and drew a perfect arch, he was thankful the pencil was black. The redhead smiled and made a second arch over Dallas's other eyebrow, he was very pleased.

"That's what you get for being an adult." Two-Bit slurred and stuck his tongue out at the blond.

The redhead stumbled out of the bedroom and felt everything was fading around him. He blinked slowly and managed to make it to the couch, he passed out.

_. . ._

Johnny slowly opened his brown eyes and yawned, he was very well rested. He needed that sleep from all he had to deal with the previous day, he sighed contently knowing it was the weekend and he didn't have to work. He noticed it was still only him and Dallas in the bed but figured Two-Bit passed out somewhere in the apartment, he rolled over to face the blond. He instantly took notice of the black arches on Dallas's forehead and snorted. Dallas's eyebrows were barely noticeable in the first place and the drawn eyebrows stood out more. Johnny lost it and began howling with laughter, Dallas was jolted awake.

"Johnny, what the Hell?" Dallas asked and scratched his head.

"You look rather surprised, Dally." Johnny snorted and continued to laugh.

Dallas raised his real eyebrow and became confused.

"What do you mean?" Dallas asked.

Johnny didn't answer, he had buried his face into his pillow and continued to laugh. Dallas wondered what was wrong with his face, he stood and walked to the bathroom. He hesitated to look but sighed heavily, he looked into the mirror. He stared at the arches on his forehead, he wondered who did this to him. He remembered Johnny had gone to bed with him and he instantly thought of a certain redhead.

"Keith Matthews! I am going to kick your lazy ass!" Dallas yelled and stomped out of the bathroom.

Johnny stepped out of the bedroom and was still giggled to himself, he followed behind Dallas.

"Dally, calm down, it was just a joke." Johnny chuckled and took a light grip of the blond's arm.

Dallas stopped and sighed heavily, he went back into the bathroom. He got a rag wet and started wiping the eyebrows off, it took a few minutes to get off. Two-Bit woke up when he heard Dallas yell and simply sat still, waiting to be beaten up but it never came. He slowly stood and ran right into the blond, Two-Bit yelped.

"Please, don't hurt me!" Two- Bit exclaimed and covered his beautiful face.

"No, it's alright." Dallas said and Two-Bit looked at him confused.

"W-Wha.."

"It's not my fault you're childish as fuck." Dallas said and shrugged.

Two-Bit scowled, "You adult!" He retorted and blew a raspberry at Dallas.

The blond chuckled, "yeah, okay, Keith." He muttered while plopping down onto the couch.

Two-Bit opened his mouth but shut it in defeat, he growled. He plopped down next to Dallas and continued to pout for the rest of the day. Johnny eventually got over his laughing fit but never got rid of the image of the eyebrows.


End file.
